by Daniells Wright
Asking the question, “Why do guys go on dating sites when in a relationship?” is no different than asking, “Why do men cheat?”
The answer is simple: ego. Here’s the thing—ego is a complex psychological concept that often relates to one’s sense of self, self-importance, and self-worth. In men, a heightened ego can sometimes fuel behaviors that reinforce self-image, power, or validation—qualities that might be pursued through affairs or other acts that boost their self-worth or provide an escape from perceived personal inadequacies.
Related articles: What Is the Difference Between Feminine Energy and Feminism?
Related articles: What Makes a Relationship Different from a Friendship?
But that is actually giving most men too much credit because cheating ultimately comes down to a lack of respect for their partner. When a man believes he needs to be validated by someone who is not his partner, this feeling, while temporary in most cases, can lead to long-term effects. I remember reading in a text during undergrad that when a man enters into a relationship, it is not for him to be faithful—it is for the woman he is dating to be faithful.
Here are a few things to consider: a man can date you, live with you, and enter a relationship with you all while having no intention of ever marrying you or being a provider and protector to you. Also, a man can have casual sex with you while also letting you know that he is not concerned with you having relations with other men outside of him. Neither are different. Relationships to a man simply mean that you, the woman, are his property that he is currently leasing but does not own. To own you is to marry you.
Related articles: What Is Relationship Realignment?
Related articles: Difference Between Curly and Coily Hair
When you’re not married but still in a relationship, you’re essentially letting this man know that he is free to roam and have his way with other women; however, you are acknowledging that you cannot and will not do the same thing. We hear it time and time again that men have standards and will not stay with a woman if she cheats on him, but men are not a monolith, meaning you cannot take one scenario and apply it across the board.
The man who leaves his woman for cheating does so for one of two reasons: he either never loved her anyway and was cheating as well, or he’s leaving before he can get left. Men are not emotionless; they feel the impact of breakups and betrayal just as women do; however, they handle it differently. For most men, their ego will not allow them to stay in a relationship where the woman was unfaithful, as this will only reinforce feelings of low self-worth, which almost always is a façade to begin with.
Related articles: What Are Triggers in a Relationship?
Related articles: Dating Someone Who Has Never Been In A Relationship