by Danielle Wright
Welcome to the side of She’s SINGLE where we tell it like it is…what do [you] do when your ex moves on? Simple, you become a bad bitch! But, if you knew the steps to take you wouldn’t be here now, would you?
You want the scientific response, the one where there is some mathematical equation for you to solve that will help you feel better overnight? No one talks about how hard the healing process truly is or what it means when you break it down.
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Watching your ex move on after a breakup while you’re still mourning is like a punch to the gut, a stab in the back, and a realization that maybe the relationship was not at all what you thought it to be. Something I’ve learned is that no relationship simply comes to an abrupt ending, there are usually always signs leading to its demise.
He becomes short with you more frequently
He is no longer interested in your day or in making you a priority
He is no longer expressing his love for you
He is expecting you to do more for the relationship to sustain itself
He is noticeably more irritated than usual
The reality is that humans are selfish and men—unlike women—do not compromise on their contentment. You see, it is very seldom that men will leave a relationship—women are much more likely than men to file for divorce. According to studies from 2000 and 2016, women are the filers in nearly 70% of divorces. The numbers have remained consistent, showing that women were the filers in 60-80% of divorces since 1865 according to KGG Law.
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If men are not leaving their marriages, what makes you think they’ll leave a relationship…empty-handed? The truth is, a man will stick around until he’s found your replacement and breadcrumb you along the way.
So, while you may be wondering why the aforementioned behaviors are taking place, think of it like this, would you leave one job before securing another? Your ex did not simply just move on, he or she secured another position to ensure the continuation of their happiness at the expense of your emotions.
When your ex moves on quickly you are left in a vulnerable position. A state of “Was I not good enough?” and “If I had done something why couldn’t they just tell me so I could fix it?” It is easy for us to blame ourselves during the initial stages, but the reality is, this is oftentimes inevitable.
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The best thing for you to do when your ex moves on is to focus on the negative aspects of the relationship. The person you knew, in the beginning, is no longer the same. He is now that person for someone else. You can give yourself grace by discounting your ex’s new relationship, calling it a rebound relationship.
These types of relationships usually exist when one person monkey branches from one relationship to the next without a moment to heal. Okay, so this can be a bit confusing. Our take is this…if a man leaves you for another person quickly—less than 6 months—this is a rebound relationship. If your ex moves on officially after a 6-month to 1-year period, this is likely NOT a rebound relationship.
But make no mistake, he or she could have been cheating during the relationship, left you for someone else, but did not claim him or her until they were ready. On the contrary, they could have left the relationship with you and dated others before settling down with someone new. Either way, the outcome is the same, your ex is gone.
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Now that we’ve shared some new perspectives you’re in a better position to gain closure. Be grateful for the time you spent together, and move on. Listen, sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is get some new toys and give yourself the princess treatment.
What do I mean by this? Knowing that your ex is in a new relationship is enough for you to realize that there is no getting back together, and so it’s time to reinvent yourself. Don’t stay the same girl/woman he left out in the cold and don’t text him either! Need a reminder? Check out this cool video from this TikTok creator below (@thesamchierchia). You are worth so much more than that!
Next, you want to invest in yourself, brands like Lumije, Vital Red Light, Riddle Oil, and H201SHIFT have some amazing hidden gems to help get you on the path to a better, healed version of yourself. For starters, you can get the Diamond Initial Pendant Necklace in White Gold from Lumije.
Manifesting is real. If someone told me after my first heartbreak that all I had to do was give myself the princess treatment, and invest in myself that I would reattract those who I lost, boy oh boy, I would have done it a long time ago! But luckily you have us to help.
When you invest and put effort into yourself you can reattract your exes and new prospects. Trust me though, your exes will want to return and by the time they do you won’t want them anymore. Because once you begin investing in yourself, your self-confidence will raise. You’ll remind yourself of the hurt that person caused you and the new you will not want to go back down that path. So reinvent yourself with some jewelry. Yes, it’s a bit on the pricier side, but well worth it!
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The Vital Red Light is beneficial for skin health, hair growth, anti-aging, mental sharpness, and much more. An absolute must in your healing regimen. Pair that with some riddle oil when you’re out of the shower after installing your H201SHIFT aromatherapy shower kit. It releases aroma scents through vitamin-scented capsules while filtering harsh chemicals and bacteria. The best revenge is no revenge, just work on becoming a bad bitch.
So, here’s the breakdown: You want to shower using your new H201SHIFT, apply some riddle oil fresh out of the shower, use your vital light for better skin, and then top it off with a piece of fine jewelry. Your skin and your mental health will thank you. Let us know if you try any of the products listed above in the comments section below.