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Feb 124 min read

What to Do When Your Boyfriend Won't Propose

by Danielle Wright

According to IF studies, roughly 87% of women wish to be married before childbearing; however, 40% of children are still born to unmarried moms.

This should come as no surprise because we see celebrities such as Sophia Richie praised for marrying her long-time boyfriend and changing her wardrobe to align with the aesthetics of her new partner, in comparison to when she dated 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians' Scott Disick. Western women, for the most part, want marriage, but the reason many women remain unwedded is due to low finances, status, emotional immaturity, or weaponized incompetence from men.


African wedding traditions require that the groom, together with his family on a special prearranged night, knocks on the door of the bride’s house. Once they are let inside, they present gifts such as wine, money, and kola nuts to the bride’s family. They then announce their intentions and discuss the prospects of joining the two families through marriage. If everything goes well, the bride comes in to give her final consent as to whether or not she wants to marry the man.

Sadly, Western civilization does not follow any tradition when it comes to matrimony—even the one where the father pays for the wedding. There are fathers seen in videos via TikTok celebrating the fact that their daughter(s) will never be married because of how bad the dating pool is, so he can then save his money. This is nothing to celebrate and goes to show how much marriage is both demonized and insignificant among many families.


The small percentage of women who do follow tradition—man proposes to bride, bride’s father pays for the wedding, bride and groom go on to create a family—is so seldom that when it does happen, it’s seen as an anomaly, and the world stops to praise this endeavor.


But why? If marriage is something so important and necessary, why does it rarely happen? Neighborhoods are considered “good” and “safe” when there are more married couples residing in the homes versus neighborhoods that harbor single-parent households. So, if this is the case, why aren’t more couples getting married? It would seem that a good number of women who seek marriage are procreating with men who are:

  • Not marriage material (lack emotional maturity and resources)

  • Do not possess the financial stability for marriage

  • Do not want to marry them in particular


In cases like this, you may begin to wonder, “What should I do when my boyfriend won’t propose?” Some women believe the solution to this dilemma is proposing to their partner. Women now are taking on this masculine role by purchasing a ring, planning an event, and then popping the question on one knee to their boyfriend.


This is wrong, embarrassing, and obliterates your value as a woman. Under no circumstances should a woman ever do this—it is emasculating to the man and will not end well for the woman. More often than not, the man will refuse or if he does accept, a wedding will never take place. Publicly emasculating a man is the equivalent of shaming the Lord; there are some things you just cannot come back from.


WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE EQUALLY YOKED IN A RELATIONSHIP?

When women resort to proposing to a man, it means they are unequally yoked—one wants something the other does not. When we look at this term from a biblical point of view, it means to be in a situation that binds you to the decisions and actions of people who have values and purposes incompatible with Jesus’ values and purposes. Marriage is a covenant and a vow made under the eyes of God.


When one person chooses to honor this covenant, they should only seek a partner who shares in their values. Women who believe in marriage should guard their wombs until they are brought together to form a union that is acceptable to the church. When you decide to stray from this teaching, there are only a few options left, and you must then decide what is more important to you: is it the marriage or the wedding?


THE MARRIAGE

This can be as simple as heading down to City Hall or going to Las Vegas and tying the knot. In this case, you’re no longer concerned about the public and having a grand ceremony to showcase your love with one another; your primary focus is bridging the gap between man, woman, and child to remain equally yoked and receive the blessings of the Lord.


THE WEDDING

Weddings are for family and friends, not the bride and groom. If the man you are with does not want to propose, it could be that they do not want a wedding. Weddings are not for everyone. On the other hand, does he want a marriage? If he does not want a marriage or wedding and will not propose, then it’s safe to say that the relationship has run its course, and you can either stay living in sin or leave the relationship to create a fruitful, healthy relationship outside of him. The choice is yours.


WHAT ARE THE 3 MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN A MARRIAGE?

When you are married, there are three things that you must have: the ability to forgive, trust, and compromise. Marriage is not easy; the idea of spending the remainder of your life with one person does not come without its challenges. But while love is fleeting, like is forever. Your spouse must be someone you like, not just love.


When you have to pressure your partner for marriage or anything that you require, your liking slowly turns to disdain. So, even if they were to give it to you, by the time you receive it, you will have felt like it was forced, and therefore, its value is diminished. With compromise being one of the big (3) when it comes to what is important in a marriage, you cannot start a marriage without the ability to work together. This is why it is important to be equally yoked. You and your partner have both established early on that you are open to marriage and would one day like to share in the experience. That is all you need.

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