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May 24 min read

What Is Relationship Realignment?

by Danielle Wright

It’s no secret that the more time you spend with the wrong person, the worse you will feel about yourself.

During an amicable Q&A, one subscriber shared her story, “I remember I was dating this guy, and he would almost never want to spend time with me. I mean, when we did spend time together—after I pretty much begged—he would be engaged in his phone or listening to music to drown me out. Over time, I began to feel like a nuisance, like my presence wasn’t enough and I wasn’t good enough,” she says.


“Eventually, I did share my concerns with him, and he manipulated me by turning it back on me, telling me that I am blowing things out of proportion and that if he didn’t like spending time with me, he wouldn’t come around me at all. But, that’s just not my idea of spending quality time together, and I just kept thinking there was something wrong with me. Now, even after we’ve broken up, I’m still afraid to ask anyone if they want to hang out. I fear that my company just isn’t good enough.”


WHAT IS RELATIONSHIP REALIGNMENT?

Relationship realignment refers to the process of making adjustments or changes within a relationship to address issues, improve dynamics, or align with new goals and priorities. It involves open communication, compromise, and effort from both parties to ensure the relationship remains healthy and fulfilling. Sure, this pertains to a couple dynamic, but did you know that as a single woman, this can apply to you, too? Realigning with your higher self means taking the things that you thought to be true about yourself, learned from someone else, and reassessing the way you want to show up in the world.

Related articles: Do People Love Differently?


ADDRESS ISSUES –

The story shared above tells us that the subscriber has issues with assertiveness and confidence. She did not assert her needs to her partner, which is her need for quality time. She was also not confident enough to tell him what quality time meant for her and what it should look like so that she would feel fulfilled. All in all, what we allow is what will continue.


When you’re aligned with your higher self, there is no room for misalignment or people in your life who are not going to complement the standard of living you’ve cultivated for yourself. Maintaining some semblance of independence while dating or before dating does not mean achieving life’s major milestones alone—it’s more intrinsic, working on who you are inside and how you present yourself to others.


IMPROVE DYNAMICS –

The dynamics of a single woman can vary widely depending on her individual preferences, lifestyle, and circumstances. However, some common characteristics of single life may include independence, freedom to make personal decisions, focus on self-growth and development, and the ability to prioritize personal interests and goals without considering a partner’s needs. During this time, you want to visit therapy and develop tools for handling confrontation or uncomfortable conversations that may lead you to conform to decisions that do not serve your highest interest.


On the flip side, when a woman is in a relationship, the dynamics often shift to accommodate the presence of a partner. This may involve compromise, communication, and shared decision-making. Additionally, aspects such as shared activities, emotional support, and intimacy become significant factors in the relationship. Being in a relationship is hard, and if you have not done anything to ground yourself first, align with yourself first, and even learn to sit in your energy for a prolonged period, then you’re going to experience relationships that drain you energetically and leave you feeling tainted.


NEW GOALS, NEW PRACTICES –

We can conclude from our subscriber’s story that her partner has hobbies and things he enjoys—listening to music, watching videos on his phone, spending time in his own energy, and so forth. He has mastered the ability to be in isolation and be content. Whereas for some women, the thought of being alone is frightening; they almost always want and need a companion. When your personality and identity are composed of those around you, you tend to feel incomplete when they are no longer around.


This brings me to my point of affirming your hobbies, goals, and practices. If your goal is to run a 5k marathon and your partner is not interested in that, he will show interest once you’ve begun training. Not because you’ll be in shape and look like a knockout, but simply because your personality and hobbies don’t require him. We all love our personal time, and so men are no different. When you have a life outside of one another, then the spark ignites, and he’ll want to be with you more; this will happen naturally. The concept of realignment, although heavily talked about from a couple’s perspective, can be shown from a solo outlook as well—and is more rewarding.


In order to achieve alignment in your relationship, you must first align with your inner child—inner self. Ask her what she would like to do today. Ask her out to dinner on a Friday night. Ask her to go see a movie on Saturday, and ask her to take that vacation to Spain for a week. While this conversation does require the decentering of men, simultaneously, you are centering and rebuilding yourself. Men respect women with standards and hobbies. If you’re interested in learning more about this topic, solo traveling, dating, and our annual singles retreat, join our solo tribe.

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