Photo by Jonathan Borba from Pexels
"I feel like once you know someone's there for you, and once you know they love you, you never actually think of them again. It's not until you're about to lose someone that you finally pay attention." - Marie (Malcolm & Marie)
Everyone fears the 'relationship rut,' but I love settling into a relationship, and I'll tell you why.
There's nothing to fear when you settle into a relationship; the best moments of your relationship will live in these places. When my ex and I moved in with each other, it was a rollercoaster; we both had different schedules and routines, but I loved cooking dinner together and sitting down to watch a movie at the end of the day. I loved lazy Saturdays where we would lay in bed and talk, then go for a walk in the afternoon after we put laundry away.
These are the moments that define relationships. It isn’t the dates and events or even the romance. Relationships thrive in the small moments when you know you are working together to make a better life with each other. You learn more about your partner than you would ever know if you focused on how exciting your relationship needed to be. You will also be happier when you appreciate the small moments.
Related articles: Settling in a Relationship
Related articles: Practicing Self-Love While in a Relationship
Life is stressful, and we are all trying to navigate the best we can. If you are lucky enough to be navigating with a significant other, appreciating everything they do, the life they have built with you will alleviate so much additional anxiety. One of the biggest problems in settled relationships is feeling like you are being taken advantage of. One person feels like they work the most or that they are expected to do more than they can manage.
Ladies, at the beginning of your relationship, there should be a conversation about sharing responsibilities around the house or if you have children. If you both work, you both have a responsibility to buy groceries and clean, but find enjoyment and appreciation in doing that for and with one another. Clean the house together to your favorite song. When you are in the grocery store, stop and breathe because you can buy food for yourself and the person you love.
You will feel so much less frustrated and stressed if you find pleasure in the mundane. This is no easy task, but once you do find it, your relationship will thrive. Relationships aren’t always exciting, but they can be an adventure. Learning everything you can about a person is never finished. We are never done evolving, and when we love someone, there is nothing more rewarding than learning everything about the person you care for the most.
Settling into a relationship feels scary because it means you are becoming content, and some days can feel repetitive. But life does not have to be exciting for you to be happy. What’s more, is that settling in means that you do not want anyone else. I don’t know about you, but that is always the scariest part of settling in a relationship. I always fear that I might be missing out on a better opportunity.
Ladies, if you are happy—and I mean genuinely happy, not lovesick euphoria—and you see a future with someone, then rest at ease. Your opportunity is here to be happy and fulfilled. If your partner supports your growth and your dreams and you feel like there is no one else you want in your story, you aren’t settling. You are about to go on the most trying, rewarding adventure of a lifetime.
For many of us, we take advantage of who our love is and lose sight of why we were with them in the first place. You are not alone, but if you are comfortable and feel successful, then you have found yourself settling, and you should breathe it in.
Subscribe today to She's SINGLE Magazine for more premium relationship articles.