by Danielle Wright
Did you know that it's possible to feel single while being married or in a committed relationship?
Whether it's long distance or you live with your person, sometimes partners can grow apart while they're together—separate togetherness is a state of being in a relationship while maintaining a sense of individuality and independence akin to that of being single. In this dynamic, partners maintain autonomy in their personal lives, interests, and goals, while still sharing a connection and commitment to one another.
It involves striking a delicate balance between togetherness and solitude, where each person retains their identity and freedom while actively participating in the relationship. This concept emphasizes the importance of fostering self-growth and fulfillment alongside mutual support and companionship within the partnership.
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Individuality is not demonized in this sense; rather, it is praised as an important concept to uphold when you're in a relationship. However, dating someone who makes you feel alone is problematic when you're:
Never being asked on dates or left alone on a Friday night
Never feeling appreciated and spending holidays such as Mother's Day without a gift from your partner if you share children
Never asked about your day or if you need assistance in your daily routine
Whatever it is, depending on your attachment style and love language, you could be single in your relationship. Different attachment styles call for different communication styles with your partner—part of loving you is knowing the 'how'. If you don't know how to articulate your wants, then you cannot expect them to know what they are.
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When you accept the bare minimum from your partner, that is what you will receive. No one wants to do more than they have to if the results are the same in the end. For example, would you work 40+ hours to earn an $800 paycheck each week if you could earn the same amount of money working 20 hours?