by Danielle Wright
After watching clips online about the Kirk and Rasheeda debacle, I’ve decided to chime in.
However, my take is going to be a deep dive into the matter because there are so many inner workings to navigate. So, prop your feet up, pour your wine, and let’s go. Why do men date younger women? The patriarchy encourages men to date and marry younger women because it makes them feel more powerful, and younger women are often easier to control.
Traditional relationships where there is an age gap—particularly where the man is older and the woman younger (but legal)—are typically encouraged. Women are conditioned from an early age to aspire to marriage. This starts with us playing with our Barbie dolls and having her marry Ken, to seeing Disney princesses saved by their Prince Charming, who often happens to be older.
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Did you know that in the story Snow White, she is only fourteen years old, while the prince is much older? In the novel The Snows of Khione, Prince Amer, on his eighteenth birthday, is to wed a girl by the name of Mary, who, on their wedding day, is going to be twelve (the wedding doesn’t take place in the first book, but I did the math)!
So, why is this so common and normalized in both fictional stories and reality? Aside from men wanting power, it’s really about conditioning and biology. From an evolutionary perspective, the argument around whether men are “biologically incapable” of monogamy stems from theories related to reproductive strategies. However, it’s important to note that biology alone does not dictate human behavior, as culture, society, and individual choices play significant roles.
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One of the primary biological goals is the successful passing on of genes to the next generation. The theory is that men, like many mammals, may have evolved to increase their reproductive success by mating with multiple partners to spread their genes as widely as possible. From this perspective, monogamy might limit a man’s ability to maximize his genetic contribution.
But to control this, laws are put in place to penalize men who practice polygamy in certain countries. In America, a man’s ability to reproduce is often tied to his financial ability to care for his offspring. Obviously, you have some men who simply do not care for their children financially, but there are laws put in place to reprimand such behavior, which negatively reinforces the act.
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However, it’s all about conditioning. The media often shares that younger women are less likely to experience high-risk pregnancies or have children who could suffer from mental or psychological disorders, while very meticulously overlooking the fact that the older a man is, the more likely he is to pass on sperm that can contribute to the aforementioned issues, including autism.
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