by Danielle Wright
Did you know that as of October 20, 2022, 31% of millennials consider themselves to be in non-monogamous relationships? Polygamy is the practice of marrying multiple spouses, where a man is married to more than one wife at the same time. This is in contrast to monogamy, where the marriage consists of only two parties.
With the rise of situationships, it may come as no surprise that many people now consider themselves non-monogamous. It has become quite difficult to land yourself in a serious, monogamous relationship where both parties are equally faithful. Since the rise of social apps like TikTok, couples have begun displaying their unconventional lifestyles, which many people have taken a keen interest in.
Olivia, Shanice, and Shawn were the latest throuple to have gained the most popularity on the app. However, Shawn is not married to either of these ladies, but their live sessions were always prominently named, “Your Favorite Polyamorous Relationship.”
Polysexuality and polyamory are often used interchangeably but have vastly different meanings. It's best for us to educate ourselves on these things before heading out into the dating world and spreading misinformation, especially on an app such as TikTok, where information spreads quickly within a short amount of time.
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A polysexual individual is someone who is attracted to people of multiple genders. This can include attraction to trans-males or females, cis-women or cis-men but does not necessarily classify as heterosexual or homosexual.
When we examine relationships where unmarried couples date multiple people with the permission of their main partner, this is simply a form of cheating. Couples in such arrangements are not practicing polyamory. It is important to clarify this for educational purposes.
Polyamory differs from cheating because it is based on honesty among all partners involved, particularly in the case of married couples. All parties are aware of the type of relationship they are entering into and are enthusiastic about it. In some cultures like Nigeria, Kenya, India, and Uganda, men are legally allowed to have multiple wives as long as they provide equal financial support to each spouse.
This arrangement allows women to share the responsibility of satisfying their mate without forfeiting the benefits of marriage, which is why many women in such arrangements have little to no objections.
But did you know there are multiple types of polyamorous relationships?
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RELATIONSHIP ANARCHY
All parties are free to connect with others romantically and sexually without the restriction of rules, labels, and hierarchy. Anarchy relationships typically have an anchor relationship, often the person they live with or share children with. This type of polyamorous relationship usually begins with mutual understanding from both parties but often fades when the woman seeks relationships outside of the primary partnership without her anchor partner or husband.
POLYFIDELITY
Both parties are open to practicing polyamory. However, due to circumstances, they have been unable to find a third person to join them sexually. In this case, they have agreed to refrain from engaging with other parties outside the relationship.
ANCHOR PARTNERS
The term 'anchor' is used for non-traditional poly relationships—relationships where the parties are not married but seek to date and have relations with outside parties. These monikers indicate that hierarchy is not present, and all partners are considered equal while still acknowledging that shared life commitments such as home and finances are factors in defining the relationship.
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SOLO POLYAMORY
Typically one person who prefers to live alone and has multiple partnerships that they do not define in a hierarchical manner. This is prevalent amongst undercover homosexual men who prefer the company or both men and women but have a hard time coming out or deciding to settle with someone of the opposite sex.
If you or someone you know falls under this category consider investing in the Aloe Glide sexual lubricant to alleviate dryness, itching and discomfort as you navigate your sexuality. It’s a versatile choice for addressing various conditions, including vulvar irritation and vulvodynia, ensuring a natural sense of intimate comfort.
Women are encouraged to use lubricant to enhance comfort during various intimate activities, including anal or same-sex relations. But it’s paramount for you to exercise caution if you are unsure of the sex-toy material. Be sure to do your due diligence when shopping for a new toy to spice things up.
TRIAD
Many polyamorous couples choose to date other singles together. A dynamic most known as a “throuple” or “ triad”. I believe this term is far more appropriate in understanding the main difference between polygamy among married couples and unmarried couples because this type is the most popular. Women who are open to dating couples are often called, “unicorns”, while the men are referred to as, “dragons.”
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Celebrities who have spoken about their Polyamorous Relationships:
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith: The couple has been outspoken about their exploration of an open marriage and in 2021, Will Smith discussed this in an interview with GQ magazine.
Image Credit: Ron Wolfson / Contributor / Getty Images
Bella Thorne: Following the breakup of her relationship with Gregg Sulkin, a British actor and Tristan Klier, Thorne came out as bisexual, and she started dating Blackbear, an emo rapper. Additionally, she was in a polygamous relationship with media personality Tana Mongeau. Thorne is a huge advocate for safe sex and promotes the use of organic lubricant for sensitive skin during sexual interactions.
Image Credit: Emily Assiran / Contributor / Getty Images
Kehlani: Kehlani, who prefers the pronouns 'they/them,' embraces relationships with multiple partners and emphasizes the importance of including these pronouns in their music.
Image Credit: Vivien Killilea / Contributor / Getty Images
Diddy and Yung Miami: Sean “Diddy” Combs is currently in an open relationship with City Girl Yung Miami, as both seem to like things a bit more casual. Things work for them with Diddy publicly seen with multiple women and Yung Miami publicity seen spending his money.
Image Credit: Cindy Ord/MG23 / Contributor / Getty Images
Mo’Nique and Husband Sidney Hicks: “I wanted to continue to see the gentlemen that I was seeing, and I felt comfortable telling my best friend,” she said. Hicks agreed, as long as he could date others as well. However, in 2023, the comedian shared that she and husband have since altered their arrangement.
Image Credit: David Livingston / Contributor / Getty Images
Overall, it’s important to know how to best identify your relationships so as to avoid hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Most importantly is to practice safe sex when these decisions remain at the forefront of your relationship. Be honest, communicate, and have plenty of lubricant on hand.