The Truth About Daycare Nannies and Working Moms

In 2011, director Tate Taylor released his film, The Help.

The story follows an aspiring author during the civil rights movement in the 1960s who decides to write a book detailing the African American maids’ point of view on the white families for whom they work and the hardships they endure daily. Nannies have been around since the 1300s but were referred to as ‘nursemaids,’ ‘wet nurses,’ and simply ‘nurses.’

Their role was to care for children in affluent homes as domestic servants. Recently, The New Yorker released an issue depicting two women, one Black and the other Brown—both minorities—on the playground nannying for white children. The Black woman is showing the other nanny a photo on her phone of what appears to be her son graduating from school. She is clearly proud of her son, but the message here suggests that Black and Brown women are more likely to be nannies to white children while missing out on the most crucial aspects and milestones in their own children’s lives.

Users took to X (formerly known as Twitter) to share their thoughts, with one person stating, “I admit, at first look, I just thought it was showing a normal, blended family. Upon second glance, ‘Oh yeah, rich white people having their kids safely raised by the help, the folks they don’t pay enough and want to deport.’” A young lady on TikTok made a video sharing just how difficult parenting is, to which one person commented, “Well, yes, it’s hard for you because historically white women did not have to raise their children.”

While it may be true that most nannies work for white moms, the idea that nannies are typically Brown and Black remains questionable. According to Zippia, there are over 169,633 nannies currently employed in the United States. The average nanny is 37 years old, and the most common ethnicity for nannies is White (60%), followed by Hispanic or Latino (18%), and African American (7.5%). So, did The New Yorker simply want to drum up some controversy?

Another user on X commented, “Just chiming in to say it is nearly impossible to find a nanny willing to work on the books. Nobody wants to pay taxes or lose Medicaid. So frustrating.” Undocumented migrants are often asked to take on nannying jobs across the United States due to the low wages most families are willing to pay. Accounts on TikTok dedicated to exposing families who wish to lowball nannies have only grown in popularity as more women become interested in the job during undergrad or simply to get by.

Singer and model Chloé Abadi shares her thoughts: “I nanny now five days a week, and it’s honestly not that bad. I really enjoy it. My parents were not born in the United States, and my childhood was a bit rough, so I love that I can work with children and show them the kind of love I didn’t get to fully experience as a child.” 

WHY ARE NANNIES SO NEGATIVELY STEREOTYPED?

One of our Love and Learning Group subscribers wrote in to share her story: “I had a live-in nanny for about eight months who worked Monday to Friday, and I was ashamed to tell anyone. My friends and family were kept in the dark for as long as I could keep it a secret because it’s sort of frowned upon to not raise your kids.”

There is a common misconception that almost all nannies are underpaid and victims of classism, but another X user chimed in to say, “I was a nanny on the UWS in college. I was the only white adult at the playground. I became friends with some of the nannies. One told me her pay, and I was horrified because I was making so much more for my part-time gig. This was in 2006, I was 19, and I finally realized my white privilege.” With 60% of nannies being white, it’s safe to say that many of them are being compensated fairly.

So while The New Yorker looked to showcase nannies as being a field predominantly held by Black and Brown women, perhaps their take should have reflected the wage disparities between racial groups instead. Nannies may get a bad rap from TV shows and movies where they are portrayed as overbearing and strict or seductive and untrustworthy, but the reality is that most nannies are just women looking to make a living and support themselves or their own families.

Cultural expectations are something else to consider because while it is normal in other parts of the world for grandparents to be the secondary caregivers, in the United States it seems that the priority is money over family. The idea that you can make your life easier with your finances—aka “Just throw some money at the problem and let’s go”—is so common that it can lead to prejudices and assumptions that nannies are less educated or capable than others.

There is a lack of professional recognition when it comes to nannies, especially when we see reality stars like Kylie Jenner or Kim and Khloe Kardashian, who we are all aware of having nannies to assist them with their children, yet these nannies are not allowed in public shots or to be seen on camera while filming. But why? Does the position they occupy make them less important? Unlike teachers and healthcare workers, nannies often don’t receive the same level of respect, which can also lead to their work being undervalued and stereotyped negatively.

So, are there any disadvantages to having a nanny? Well, aside from our subscriber who was brave enough to be vulnerable and share her truth, it’s obvious that the only problem with having a nanny is not recognizing them as the true professionals they are. They don’t need to be excluded from conversations; they need to be included, especially as it pertains to raising children and who is responsible for a child learning their manners, values, and morals.

While most mothers are ashamed to admit they have a nanny, it’s something to truly embrace because it takes a village to raise a child, and no one is perfect. Nannies are there to make moms' lives a bit easier, which is what a grandparent or a good friend would do. Let’s work on embracing nannies and including them in the conversation as it pertains to fair wages because they deserve it.

by Harley Miller