The Influence of Pornography on Modern Relationships

The former Daily Wire podcaster, Candace Owens, has reiterated her strong disapproval of pornography, once again calling for it to be banned.

“It is a psychological weapon intended to weaken our men,” she said. Sadly, it’s become all too common for men who lack willpower and restraint to be held accountable when they’ve made the decision to involve themselves in a romantic relationship where monogamy is the expectation. Similarly, men who have decided to remain without a partner due to their sexual needs being met by women online through their overindulgence in pornographic material.

In a previous article discussing whether or not sex workers are replacing girlfriends, it was mentioned that an FS worker can easily earn upwards of $14,000 per week for sex alone, yet the average woman is demonized for expecting to be taken on a date where the minimum spend is $200. Many users on X vehemently disagreed with Candace Owens, citing, “Pornography is a First Amendment Free Speech Right.” According to the Marriage Center for Family and Marriage Research, since 1970, the marriage rate has declined by almost 60%.

This may serve as no coincidence, considering that by the 1970s, feature-length pornographic films had supplanted the silent, single-reel stag films. Peepshow booths also evolved in the 1970s, generating millions of dollars in a constant stream of small change. That said, porn was still expensive, relatively hard to find, and embarrassing to access.

Due to its financial success, around 1977 to 1991, numerous publications began printing advertisements for pornographic pictures and movies, and people began having pornography shipped to their homes. Psychology Today says, “An even bigger change occurred when VCRs (video cassette recorders) hit the market. Suddenly, people could purchase or rent pornographic videos and view them in the privacy of their own homes. Almost simultaneously, cable television arrived, presenting soft-core porn at night.”

Men’s Relationship Coach, Nathanial Sultan, revealed, “As of today, men are not looking to evolve, sadly. Men are wired to do what makes them feel good, even if it’s at the expense and happiness of others. They are selfish, naturally. So when we take that into consideration, along with the accessibility of pornographic material that allows men to release dopamine whilst being less emotionally available, we get what we have now—men who have devalued relationships and are no longer interested in putting in maximum effort to acquire a quality woman and/or girlfriend.”

Yes, porn is a First Amendment right, which means it may not be the sole problem but one of many contributing to the decline of marriages between heterosexual couples in the 21st century. Not only that, but there are men who believe that the women they have access to via social media are easily accessible to them, making them less inclined to want to engage with a real woman in a physical setting.

If they do, it’s simply a way of turning their virtual reality into a real one. The presence of a woman is not for courting or building a future with, but merely to satiate a desire and release tension that arises from the plethora of half-naked women online. Once that relief is met, then it’s back to square one—indulging in online pornographic material until the urge for physical comfort is needed once again. Rinse and repeat.

Interestingly enough, we've seen the rise of men who refuse to take women on dates because they've somehow convinced themselves that such actions are unnecessary, believing a woman should only be invited to their home or out for drinks nearby, making the transition from bar to abode less challenging. These men are not sassy, broke, or feminine; they are more than likely addicted to porn. The access to porn demotivates men, which, in essence, weakens them.

If men are not motivated to work hard to acquire a romantic partner, thereby providing for and protecting their household, then they are weak. Candace Owens is not wrong. Many men today are less interested in working with their hands (i.e., construction work, trade jobs) and are seemingly entertaining the idea of becoming YouTubers, podcasters, or internet personalities. However, those are not sustainable careers that can build longevity for men.

Women are more easily digestible, which is why women are more likely to earn brand deals and syndication deals with major hosting platforms such as Spotify. Men, on the other hand, can share their opinions online, but the vast majority of online users are not going to gravitate to their content for recommendations, entertainment, or advice unless it relates to something masculine—sports, music, fitness, movies (in some instances).

There is a rise of men pandering to women with relationship content that has grown and seen much success in terms of subscribers, but will they expand past that? No, probably not. So, while exploring a career online may be a good short-term goal, men have to evolve to educate themselves. A lot of the content we consume online is not fact-checked, especially on platforms like TikTok, where it takes little to no time to prop up your phone and hit record several times a day.

When is the research being conducted? If no one is researching the information beforehand on what they intend to share, then this leaves room for the circulation of misinformation and a greater divide between men and women. But again, I ask, why are men not being held accountable for their actions? If the overconsumption of pornographic material means men are less inclined to get married and start a family, then why are there no ramifications for them?

Instead, it's a woman's right to choose that is policed and overturned. It's the women in the sex work field who are demonized and criticized for how they choose to make their money. It's Bumble sharing billboards telling women that celibacy is bad. Men will never evolve because they are not being held accountable for anything—that is the simple answer. Women are blaming other women, men with mics are blaming other women, the dating apps are blaming women, and the government is...of course...blaming women.

The influence of pornography on modern relationships has less to do with the content and its accessibility and more to do with the consumer. A business exists to make money and turn a profit, and there are plenty of businesses that fail at doing so, yet porn is a billion-dollar industry, making it profitable. Whether it's being accessed through OnlyFans, PornHub, Reddit, or Twitter, the fact of the matter is people are searching for it and, more importantly, investing in it.

Men are weaker due to porn, not because it exists, but simply because they are no longer persecuted for indulging in it. Men who follow sex workers online should be hounded by the general public for their decision to indulge openly in such content, and yet they are not. It is ignored, and sex workers have become glorified. We will not see a change in modern relationships until the people responsible for the change are held to a higher standard. In other words, bring back shame.

by Danielle Wright & Harley Miller