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Raise your hand if you love flirting.
Mine are raised high in the sky right now. In my opinion, it’s the best part about dating. Flirting with your crush helps you get to know this new person you’re interested in. It’s the anticipation for what’s next and feeling those butterflies in your stomach, especially when you feel like you’re both into one another. But how do you know if he’s really into you or if it’s all in your head? Trying to decipher the language of men has always been a struggle for women. There’s a book that focuses on this exact topic called, "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.” We have no idea what men are thinking, which can make us feel anxious when comes to relationships.
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Are we willing to open our hearts to someone who might be interested? Thankfully, there are a few things to look out for that can help. Here are some signs that your male friend may have developed feelings for you:
He's comfortable being around you -
Lucy Jones, a dating and relationship counselor for Tomboy Warehouse says instead of looking to see if he buys you expensive things or posts photos of you on his Instagram, pay attention to how comfortable he is with you: “When we become more connected and comfortable with someone, we start to show a little more of ourselves – the parts of us that aren’t as shiny.”
If he’s able to sit with you and open up about who he is, he’s inviting you to be a part of his life. And if he likes being around you even on the days where you don’t feel so great, that’s when you know he has feelings for you.
He’s quiet when you talk about dating or your relationship -
Sometimes you might have a guy who has feelings for you but you’re dating someone else. A classic love-triangle-friend-zone situation. Being in the friend zone is tough, let alone listening to the person you love, wanting to be with someone else.
If you’re expressing your feelings about someone else to him, check to see if he looks uncomfortable or stays silent. It may seem like he has nothing to say when in reality, he doesn’t want to admit that the guy you’re dating is a dick and you should be with them.
He remembers the things you say -
Another sign to look out for is their attention to detail. “It’s not difficult to listen to someone - especially when they’re interested,” states Jones. “If they recall the little things that are important to you, that's a sign. He listens and remembers what you say. That’s when you know someone’s really into you.”
There’s a big difference between hearing and listening. Listening requires undivided attention. When someone listens to you, they want to know more about your ideas, your personality, and what makes you happy. If he is interested and recalls the things you’ve said to him, he’s fighting feelings for you.
He’s scared to make the first step (move?) -
Women often think that men are always assertive and will go after what they want. Usually, those men have a mission – to sleep with you. But if a guy has strong feelings for you, he will do everything he can to make you comfortable, which might mean not saying a thing.
They don’t want to ruin anything or make things weird, but that doesn't mean you can't make the first move. “If you've gone on a few dates with the guy and it's been a few months, you're entitled to know where things stand between you,” states Kevin Darne, relationship expert and author of My Cat Won’t Bark! A Relationship Epiphany. “This is especially true if you feel yourself becoming emotionally invested in him. The worst thing you can do is silently go along to get along.”
Men might seem tough, but they’re also tender -
We’re not the only ones who are afraid of heartbreak—love can make us think or say crazy things. But it can also paralyze us with fear. So, if he’s fighting feelings for you, the ball is in your court.
Resources:
Lucy Jones, Ph.d Dating and Relationship expert for Tomboy Warehouse
Kevin Darne, Relationship Expert and Author