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Writer's pictureShe's SINGLE Magazine
Jan 85 min read

Signs She Is Pretending to Love You

by Danielle Wright

Dating today is challenging for both men and women, but can we be honest for a moment?

Men have it harder. Listen, they are responsible for approaching a woman, courting her, and then learning whether or not they’ve impressed her enough to have sex. Plus, he has to prove himself to be a valuable asset to her life, not just someone who is looking to drain her both emotionally and physically. So, when it comes to dating, are there signs men should look out for when a woman is pretending to love them? Of course, there are. Men do it, women do it too. It’s a toxic cycle of abuse.


Women are taught to date men who can provide and protect, but this varies across different demographics because it's evident that some women will date men who cannot do the aforementioned. However, those tend to be the women who are in love; they choose love over security, to which the men they’ve chosen are thankful; however, they are not appreciative.


In most cases, women who choose love over security end up giving more to their relationships—emotionally, mentally, physically and are often times used, abused, and left stranded. These women will fight to the end, hoping for a chance to rekindle with their past loved ones. But there’s usually no hope because the more they fight, the less valuable they’re perceived to be in a man’s eyes.


If you’re interested in seriously dating, wanting a woman who wants you back, and you’re tired of meeting women who are only pretending to be in love with you, here are some signs to look out for:

SHE’S DISMISSIVE

Women love a conversation. There’s a study that shows that women speak more words a day than men. So, what does that mean? If she’s not interested in hearing from you or having long, serious conversations and is often distracted or disinterested in what you have to talk about, then it’s safe to say that she’s not interested. This is not your sign to pull back and play games; it’s a sign to simply leave.


When you first meet a woman and exchange phone numbers or social media handles, that’s the perfect time to send her those morning greetings and see whether or not she keeps the conversation going. If you’re her type, she will; if not, she will expect you to carry the conversation. We can’t help it; once we like a guy and he’s easy on the eyes, we will converse with him whether we’ve known him for three minutes or three years.

Related articles: How to Date An Introvert


NEVER RECIPROCATES

Listen, as a man, it’s your job to put in the effort, impress, and make a lasting impression. Women want a safe space where she can call without feeling judged, text first, and know that you won’t be on the other end of the phone laughing at her with your friends. She wants to feel like she’s the only one you have eyes for—make her feel safe.


Once you’ve established this kind of environment for your lady, she will reciprocate the effort in communication. If she is not calling you first, texting first, or leaving voicemails for you when you miss her calls, then it's safe to say that she’s not in love with you and probably not as interested as you think she is.


When this happens, again, don’t play games, just leave. If you’ve invested heavily in this situation and you are not ready to leave, simply ask her if she’s interested. She will most likely be honest, unless you’ve presented yourself as a sugar daddy or sponsor, then she’ll lie to keep you on the hook to continue reaping the benefits. However, make no mistake, if she loved you, none of that would matter. The only thing that would make her feel good is knowing that you’re her safe space.

Related articles: Modern Dating Etiquette

Related articles: Why is Dating So Hard


IGNORES YOUR FEELINGS

One of the fastest ways to tell if a woman loves and respects you as a man is whether or not she is receptive to your feelings. Men are naturally not good at expressing themselves, and women hate this—especially women who are in love. We want our men to trust us and allow us to be a safe space for them emotionally, the same way he allows us the space to feel safe to communicate.


This goes back to reciprocity. If she is judgmental or harsh towards you when you express yourself or have qualms about her behavior or attitude, then it's safe to say that she has emotionally checked out and is no longer interested, let alone in love.


Do not give immature women the time of day. The best way to have a successful and healthy relationship is to be prudent enough to know when it's time to walk away. Women who cannot allow you the grace you’ve given are not worth your time.


This is not about money; it’s about respect, and as a man, that is what you want and deserve. It’s not impossible for a man not to know his worth, as sometimes many women do not either, but the outcome is always the same: you lose value, and your importance to them fades.


SHE IS ALWAYS ASKING YOU FOR SOMETHING

Her hand is always out, and everything else is on lockdown. She’s not appreciative of your efforts; she is closed off emotionally and, in some instances, physically as well. Her mood changes like the weather, and no matter how much you express your needs, she is quick to shut you down. These are indications that the woman you’re with does not see you as a person, but rather as a resource. This is not the time to beg and plead but simply a sign that it is time to walk away.


This may be hard considering you’ve invested a lot in the relationship, but rest assured there is someone better out there for you. If you’re looking to find the woman of your dreams, there are plenty of avenues to take, but we don’t recommend dating apps.

The Manhattan Dinner is an option, as only serious prospects attend. Men and women looking to settle down attend the dinner; the tickets are quite pricey, so it’s an event that is proven to weed out the time wasters from the hopeless romantics. Tickets are on sale now. Attend; there’s a good chance the love of your life might be there waiting.

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