by Megan Sheckells
Photo by Andres Ayrton from Pexels
In today’s dating culture it can be increasingly difficult to figure out how our potential partners are feeling. We live in a world of dating apps, talking to multiple people at once, ghosting, situationships, and all other manners of noncommittal behavior. So, what are signs that he wants something serious?
It seems like it should be obvious, but society has an ever-growing number of us scared to fully commit.
We’re going to explore some of the signs that he is serious, even if he doesn’t outright say so just yet.
Amber Lee, who is a relationship expert and CEO of selectdatesociety.com, offered some valuable answers to our question. She stated, “He will make seeing you a priority. Although he's busy with his career and other responsibilities, he will carve out time for you.” I agree with this one 100%! While I’ve been sitting here waiting on a response for two days with someone who wasn’t interested, the tides turn when they’re serious.
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“He will take you out,” Lee went on to say, “If every time you see him, it's at the house to Netflix and chill then he is probably not taking the relationship seriously. If he is truly interested, he will make an effort to take you out. When a man is interested, he will want to impress you!” This isn’t to say a blanket fort and cuddles don’t qualify for those of us who are more introverted. However, if you never see him put in any effort, that’s a red flag that he may not be all that interested.
Lee listed two more, “He involves you in his life [. . . and] He makes future plans with you.” Bottom line, if he is keeping you completely separate from his friends, family, and future plans, he’s probably not taking your relationship too seriously yet. So those are some signs that he is taking you seriously, but what about signs that he’s not? Those can be just as telling, especially because the timeline is blurred on how fast people move in their relationships.
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Carmel Jones offered insight into some of the signals you may see when he isn’t taking you seriously. Jones is a relationship expert at thebigfling.com. She stated, “Making plans feels like pulling teeth: A non-committal man will make planning dates difficult. He will always have something come up or want to play it by ear.”
I would be lying if I said I haven’t seen this red flag and still charged straight ahead anyway. But this is what makes this one important. We often think maybe they’re just not super creative, or they’re a free spirit. While this may be true, they should still be able to commit to plans on occasion. Jones says this dismissal is disrespectful to you.
The next one Jones mentioned is tricky to notice, so read closely. Jones argued he’s not taking you seriously if, “He wants to be emotionally coddled: This is a confusing one. Men who lead women on will often share some of their secrets. To the woman, it feels like she's peeking into his inner world. What's really happening is that he's taking more than he gives.”
Jones elaborated further saying, “He's using the woman for her emotional energy and warmth. It shows that you've become a security blanket, not a girlfriend. Now, when a man asks for advice or wants to have a deep reciprocal conversation (in which you both share), that is a good sign. But if it feels like he's emotionally dumping on you all the time, that's a red flag.”
This one is definitely harder to notice right off the bat, so take your time to really think this one through before you decide what is actually occurring. It’s also important to realize there are even more signs depending on the type of person.
Timing is another thing to be considerate of. While some of the signs he is interested are accurate, not everyone moves at the same pace in their relationships. He may really be interested but not involve you with his family just yet, because he’s not ready. Also, he may not take you out if he’s legitimately broke right now. So don’t jump to conclusions.
At the end of the day, talking to your partner to be (or partner) is going to be the clearest way to get an answer on whether he’s serious about the relationship or not. Not everyone wants a serious relationship, and others have reservations about moving too fast. So, give your partner a chance to speak for themselves on the topic if it’s still unclear to you after a while.
Sources:
Lee, Amber. Personal Interview, 13 Sep. 2021.
Jones, Carmel. Personal Interview, 13 Sep. 2021.