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Mar 286 min read

Signs He Wants a Baby With You

by Danielle Wright

Congratulations! You want to start a family now that you’re either married or engaged, right?

Now that that is out of the way, let’s talk about this exciting new chapter that you and your partner are interested in embarking on. There are numerous aspects to explore once you’ve decided to start a family—physical, mental, and financial well-being are just a few. With that said, we do take into account that sometimes the need to start a family can be one-sided, and perhaps it’s just you who is ready, whereas your partner is undecided. Either way, communication is always key.

However, there are times when men can be very indirect and unclear, which is why there are also signs you could look out for. Men understand the dangers of childbearing to some degree—after all, almost everyone in the world has access to the internet. Answers to their questions are always only a keystroke away. Given that there is so much going on in the world, there are plenty of people pondering the thought of conceiving and remain undecided.


If your partner starts doing any of these, though, it’s safe to say he does want a baby with you, but maybe he has not confirmed this within himself to have the discussion and begin the baby-making process. So go easy on him and allow him the space he needs to bring it to your attention when he’s good and ready.


FUTURE PLANNING

This is a big sign he wants a baby with you when he begins to question your living space. Maybe you both reside in a one-bedroom apartment, a loft, or maybe even a house, but there’s just not enough space to raise a baby. When a man is ready to start a family, his sole priority will be safety and comfort. No man wants to raise a family in inadequate quarters.


We see these memes online where men and women fuss over different things in the home—men inspect the alarm system, locks, doors, windows, and women are thinking about what color to paint the kitchen, guest room, and making a list of new items she needs from Home Goods. Well, this is no different. When a man is ready to expand his family—because you’re his family, too—he will want to invest in a larger space. Do not bring this up or initiate a conversation, allow him the space to lead. The only thing you should do is make it clear that you want a family and you want one with him as the head of it.


PARENTING STYLES AND BABY NAMES

Another sign he wants a baby with you is when he starts making jokes about the possible names he would give your children. This is so cute and fun because men often portray themselves as stoic and nonchalant, but when he’s actively inquiring about the names your children should have, this gives a whole new meaning to your relationship. Not only that, but the way you both intend to parent your kids.


Maybe you’re at dinner or an event and he glances over to the table next to him and there’s a family enjoying their meal. He may use that as a segue into bringing up the types of activities or styles of parenting he can envision you and him incorporating for your little one. Letting a man lead in this way is good because just like you want a man to love you more in the relationship, you also want a man who wants children with you!


Many women believe that just because they are in a relationship with someone it means that they want to share the responsibility of a child. This is untrue and typically the reason we see so many single mothers. Men are leaders in every way; let them lead.


HIS INTERACTION WITH OTHER CHILDREN

One of the best ways to know if he is ready to have a child with you is his interaction with other children when you are present. If you have small nieces or nephews, then perhaps you can suggest babysitting them with your partner. If he huffs and puffs or offers you no assistance when they’re around, then do not think for one second he is ready to have children.


Kids are a huge responsibility, and if he’s not enthusiastic about helping you with kids that do not belong to him, then imagine having to help with kids that do, and it’s a 24/7 process. Yes, one can argue that if those aren’t his kids, then why would he go above and beyond to offer assistance? Well, the reality is, when a man wants something, he basks over it or the things that remind him of it until what he wants becomes his. Men are territorial; they love and protect what they deem to be theirs. His imagination is what is keeping him interested.


Take, for example, a man who is interested in buying a Tesla. He may have his eye on a particular one, but that won’t stop him from admiring every other Tesla he comes in proximity with. His focus is on the fact that a Tesla will one day be his to own, and so, him looking forward to that means that every other car like it will garner his attention and interest.


ATTENTIVENESS AND READINESS

Maybe your partner hasn’t verbalized that he’s ready for kids, but you’ve noticed that he’s far pickier about the things you eat, read, or how you’re spending your days. He wants to pamper you for almost no reason at all. Well, when he starts to take stock of your daily activities, it's his way of making sure that you’re safe and that your body is not filled with junk and can serve as a safe and healthy environment to grow his seed. Men like this will ask that you cut down on your alcohol consumption if that’s something he’s noticed you do a lot.


Do not take offense to this because it’s just a small gesture towards a bigger goal. Like I said earlier, men are not fools; they are only good at acting like fools. He knows that in order to bring a healthy and strong baby into this world, the mother needs to be that first. He will want to suggest healthier food options and perhaps some trips to the gym. Once he’s decided that you’re actively working on bettering yourself right alongside him, he may very well give in and outright ask you to have a child with him. Practice patience.

Related articles: Gifts for Second Time Moms


FINANCIAL PLANNING AND STABILITY

Last but not least are finances. Men who want children are prudent and fiscally responsible. Much like the home-buying processes, there are always grey areas of expenses. Having a child means daycare, formula, toys, clothing, hospital bills, and more. Men who are ready to take on parenthood will start to save and get their money in order. If your man is questioning you and your finances and putting pressure on you to go half with everything, then not only is he not really ready for a child, he is very immature, and his parenting will reflect this.


Men and women are supposed to be a team when it comes to parenting, planning, and raising their children. If the planning is lazy or without much thought, then you’re both going to end up quarreling a lot and fussing at one another to the point where the relationship will fall apart shortly after the child arrives. Do not get suckered into having to pay your way into motherhood; if he wants to be a father, then that means he’s accepted all of the responsibilities that come with it.


All in all, don’t rush into the baby-making stages just yet, even if you are married or merely engaged. Men always go after what they want, and many are meticulous planners. If he hasn’t asked, then he’s simply not ready, and if he’s coerced by you, he will assume that you want to either take on the responsibilities yourself while he aids a little bit, or that you want to go half with him on every single thing.


This will make for a miserable and unpleasant pregnancy. You want to be at peace while you prep for baby, carry and deliver your baby. So, be patient, and if he's not ready when you are, then it’s okay for you to consider other options. Starting over is never a bad idea.

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