by Danielle Wright
Getty Images/ Frazer Harrison
“Someone who wants the best for you is what’s best for you.”
Dating can be tough. Sometimes it can be hard to determine if someone you like has feelings for you or if they’re just rebounding you. How exactly can you tell the difference? Recently, news broke that model and business owner, Lori Harvey and actor Michael B. Jordan ended their one-year relationship.
Shortly after Lori went ahead and removed every trace of his existence from her social media account. Michael, however, did not. Rather, he spent his time out with friends attending a basketball game. Here we can see that one person’s feelings were a bit stronger in this equation which is often the case in rebound relationships.
When a man has feelings for you, he cannot hide them. Unlike women who can conceal their affection to some degree, this is not the case for most men. When a man is genuinely in love or falling, there are some subtle signs to look for:
STARING – Maybe you’ve caught him once or twice looking over at you and not just looking, but gazing. A man who has caught feelings for you will have his eyes glued on you.
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CLOSENESS – He will always want to be close to you. Maybe you’re attending a group event together and he finds a way to be by your side no matter what. This is a sure sign. Embrace this form of affection. When he wants to be close, this man is subconsciously telling himself that you are meant for one another. His body seemingly having a mind of its own.
QUALITY TIME – He will find every excuse for you to hang out. Whether this is in a group setting—a night out as “friends” or a casual evening he planned but wants to act as though it was all spontaneous. If you guys have been friends, he might start inviting you to join him at the movies or while he’s shopping.
A healthy relationship begins with a friendship. Going back to Lori and Michael, we can see from her dating record that she is quick to move on – rebounding. According to Laurence Lee, CEO of The Great Brain Experiment, “Don’t rush into anything. It is always important to give yourself time to heal and to get to know your new partner.” It is not unusual for men to fall in love with a best friend or someone he’s already spent a great amount of time getting to know beforehand.
Rebounding is not healthy for anyone because they often do fail. “Rebound relationships often fail because this kind of relationship usually benefits one person – the person who broke up earlier.
The chance is, when someone is quick to get back into a new relationship after a breakup, he/she is only trying to fill the emptiness that he/she feels. He/she does not love the other party, they just want a temporary companion.” Says Theola Tinny, Co-founder of VinPit. We see this plenty of times, men who end up rebounding a close female friend once their relationship has ended. Here are some more signs his feelings for you are genuine:
ACTS OF KINDNESS: A man who has caught genuine feelings for you will want to do things for you. He’ll start playing taxi driver or offer to pick you up from work, he might also help you run some errands. This is a man NOT on the rebound because most men who are rebounding will only do the bare minimum and oftentimes breadcrumb women.
CONVERSATIONS: He starts the conversations and will always appear happy to be around you. He is present and is actively listening to you when you speak. Even if it’s only small talk or exchanging a funny meme via social media. When the conversation comes easily around you, this man is subconsciously trying to tell himself he loves spending time with you.
On the other hand, if a man is rebounding, he may tune you out and “talk about their ex often, and usually with strong emotions of bitterness, anger, or sadness,” Emily Gough says. “Additionally, actions aren’t matching up with words, and be on the lookout for conversations that are mostly about sex.”
FUTURE TALKS: No pun intended! If a guy is willing to consult you before making an important decision, it means he is comfortable around you. He wants to speak to you about his future plans as a way of including your input and showing that he has strong feelings for you.
On the contrary, if he is simply rebounding you, you can expect things to move at lightning speed, but you will be going nowhere, fast. Rachel Kuhlen, an IFC Certified Coach adds, “Rebound relationships fail when you are in a hurry to move on from your previous relationship. Unprocessed feelings from a past breakup will manifest negatively in a new relationship.”
We hope this article helped and gave you some insight on how to tell if he’s caught feelings for you. We all hope to be in love with the right person someday. Rebound relationships can feel like a person has caught feelings, but this is not always the case. Be vigilant and happy dating.