by Lisa K. Stephenson
Photography by Andrea Piacquadio
Do you block your ex after a breakup? Yes.
Okay, okay so many people will say there is no need, I mean considering how things may have ended, what if it was an amicable breakup or a nasty one…well, guess what, if it was an amicable and mutual breakup you probably wouldn’t be questioning whether or not you should block your ex. Long story short, my last relationship was a nasty breakup, from cheating to physical violence, the works and so, blocking was the smart thing to do.
But then your ex may be thinking, “If she/he is over me, then why do they need to block me? Were they that much in love that now the very sight of me living my life and moving on repulses them or triggers a stint of jealousy?” Yep and just to spell it out for you, your ex may be thinking you’re, playing games with them, hiding something, bitter and lastly, immature.
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First things first, if the breakup was nasty, I mean you were dumped and like me, cheated on, beaten, etc. then YOU should be looking to cut all access to you completely. Give that rotten ex of yours an obstacle course to maneuver through if he/she ever wants to speak to you again.
Leaving an ex unblocked is just allowing them straight access to you while you are trying to heal. This is never a good idea. It is easy for one to say, forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you, well, so is blocking! Blocking is for you, not the other person. My Instagram account was the gateway for my ex to stalk, write and try to manipulate me or make me jealous. I blocked the crap out of him and I feel 10x better about it.
The main reason to block is that it is usually never a good idea to remain friends with an ex, I mean it just doesn’t make sense. You want to become indifferent towards this person and while the truth is, you’ll never stop thinking about them, you want to at least aid yourself in the healing and moving on process. So, block away my friend.
Another thing to be mindful of is that when you’ve made the final decision to block an ex, be sure about it. You don’t want to seem indecisive in your decision making otherwise your ex will no doubt think you’re someone who has zero control of their emotions and that’s never a good thing.
Whether physical or virtually speaking as long as you stay connected to your ex, no one else will have a chance to win your heart completely. Do you want that? Of course not. Remember this, your ex does not have to directly pose themselves as a nuisance for you to block them, it is also not an immature thing to do so either.
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It is just a way for you to separate yourself and begin living for you and only you. Waiting for a reason to block your ex outside of your own, such as manipulation, constant unwanted contact, etc. is not good. You have to be assertive, taking your life and your happiness in your own hands and doing what’s ultimately going to make you happy.
Read more in She’s SINGLE Magazine: The BOLDBachelorette Playground Issue.