'She Deserved the Purse' Trend: An Act of Kindness Gone Wrong

September 26, 2024

A few days ago, a TikTok creator went viral for posting what appeared to be a purse nestled alongside baby lotion in the baby aisle of a supermarket or retail store. This creator wrote, “to the mother who chose themselves last, you deserve the world tonight.”

This sparked a widespread movement across the country, where other creators actively went to stores and placed money into diapers, formula, baby medicine, and other baby-related items. But while this gesture is seen as thoughtful and kind, we can’t help but remember when it was first done by Milan Harris, Founder and Owner of Milano Di Rouge, and later by Lisa K. Stephenson, author of The Snows of Khione.

Milano recorded herself placing hundred-dollar bills in diaper boxes for social media, while Lisa K. Stephenson was recorded by a bystander doing so while purchasing a copy of her publication in a local Stop & Shop supermarket back in 2021. Both women have publicly stated that this is not something they would continue to do because store associates complained that the boxes were being ripped open and the money removed by other shoppers.

Well, it appears that three years later, this trend has reemerged and is now even more worrisome since it has made its way to TikTok, where teenagers are recording themselves removing the money left by other creators and thoughtful customers from the items found in the baby aisles. Retail chains such as CVS, Target, and Walmart are among those who, in some states, have begun locking up items to combat theft in their stores.

But with yet another trend where stores have not been doing so, it’s only a matter of time before it is carried out nationwide. These items, once opened, are now considered damaged and will need to be returned to the warehouse and tossed out. Not only did a single mother not receive their blessing from a kind stranger, but now these items will be discarded, making the product scarce and potentially raising its cost for the parent to purchase in the near future.

There is a domino effect to such reckless and selfish behaviors that many do not consider. With inflation currently at a record high, it’s no wonder that many single mothers and fathers are struggling to care for their children. One creator has documented her journey from living in a three-bedroom home with her four children to now residing in a shelter, where she was recently kicked out for recording her morning routine with her children as they got ready for school. She is now 100% homeless. But you see, herein lies the problem: social media is no longer a place where mothers can go to vent their frustrations or where creators can offer help because while you’re watching, someone else with malicious intent is watching too.

HOW DO YOU HELP

Similar to Milan Harris and Lisa K. Stephenson, you can either start an organization where you aid single mothers or donate to one. All in all, showcasing your humanitarian efforts online is now a huge no-no. Additionally, employees may begin to lose their jobs as a result of the increased returns their stores will face—some of whom are single mothers themselves. Picture this: a customer comes in to leave money under a formula lid and records it.

Someone watches it on TikTok, goes to the same store, and removes the money while simultaneously ripping open other boxes to check if money is left elsewhere. The worker, who also happens to be a single mother, now needs to damage out these items. Once those items are damaged out, they need to be sent to the warehouse for discarding. Now, P&G is not happy because this is the third time this week this has happened, and they are now losing money.

So, in response to this, the retail store needs to cut wages. Once the wages are cut, that single mother who had to damage out the items can’t afford to pay her rent for the month. Shortly after this continues to happen, the retail chain must lay off some of their employees, and this single mother is now unemployed. It's a larger conversation to be had, and truth be told, many people should get into the habit of volunteering and giving back to their communities in a way that is safe and practical. We are not demonizing this act of kindness; we are only pointing out that it’s impractical for several reasons and comes with several issues, both known and unknown.

Some reputable organizations for aiding single moms are listed below: