Psychological Effects of Being Single Too Long: The Vegan Movement

Is there a downside to being single for too long?

As of 2021, 52% of women in the U.S. are unmarried or separated, which is a record high. Applications such as TikTok and Instagram Reels are awakening women to the possibility that relationships and marriage are not the dream we were sold as girls growing up. Now, more than ever, women are taking to social media to share their grievances regarding relationships and the trauma they endure within them. Invisible labor is one of the newer challenges that women are facing.

This involves remembering every little thing about their families—dentist appointments, teachers' names, caretakers' names, family deadlines, etc. While this may seem innocent enough, women simply are not finding the time to decompress. Men who work and are the sole providers in their households are interested in returning home to a peaceful environment, free from noise and household responsibilities.

However, many wives and mothers are not able to oblige their partners in this manner because, while he is away at his job, she is at home. Both adults feel exasperated in their own way but must still come together to solve common problems within their household as they pertain to each other and their children. In addition to this, many single women are learning in real time that the vast majority of married men do cheat on their partners, with some going as far as creating families outside their marital homes.

Movements like the 4B movement and, more recently, the Vegan Movement have begun gaining traction among single women worldwide—not because women are disinterested in relationships, but more so because they are not seeing the benefit of being a wife and mother beyond 2024. The Vegan Movement is a trademarked collaboration between LUEQ and She’s SINGLE Magazine, comprised of:

The Vegan Tank Top – An effortless staple designed to keep you cool and comfortable while you work on your fitness goals. Perfect for pairing with leggings, jeans, or your favorite athleisure look, this tank top is versatile enough for the gym, a yoga session, or a quick meal with friends.

The Vegan Tumbler – Your perfect gym companion for staying hydrated while you’re getting back in shape. This sleek, pink tumbler is not just functional but stylish enough to take with you from workouts to errands.

Each of these items, whether bought together or separately, showcases the strength and wisdom that women have as a collective, empowering them to be proud of standing alone and facing everyday challenges without a mate. This movement is for women who want a partner but do not wish to settle for less than what they deserve. As mentioned on the tank top, similar to a racist Karen, the Peters of the world are nonchalant, emotionally unavailable, abusive (mentally, physically, and emotionally), lazy, non-traditional, sassy, and overall men that women should stay away from.

This also includes men with podcasts who spend their precious days and time bashing women they will never have the chance of dating in this lifetime. Much like the 4B movement, the Vegan Movement is not to encourage women to spend the rest of their lives alone but is a way of challenging women to stop accepting less and show men—rather than complain and nag—that we, as women, have the power to pull back, stand together, and demand better for ourselves and our children.

Movements such as these can come with their own challenges for women:
LONELINESS LEADING TO LOW SELF-ESTEEM –
Single women are facing a common issue when it comes to the loneliness epidemic—we want partners, but we want to be treated like the women in the Rom-Coms we grew up watching. The Sam Coulson's from Never Been Kissed. The Ike Graham's from Runaway Bride. The William Thacker's from Notting Hill. The Jack Taylor's from One Fine Day. The Patrick Verona's from 10 Things I Hate About You and, lastly, the Jake Ryan's from Sixteen Candles.

We want romance, we want love, but instead, we’re thrust into a reality where men want to be treated as women, and women are becoming the sole breadwinners, expected to go 50/50, raise children, and tolerate infidelity because “it’s a man’s nature” to cheat. We were duped, and so the psychological effect on us is not due to being lonely; it’s realizing we were sold a dream that does not exist. To compensate for this, many women are entering into relationships and accepting the bare minimum for the chance to say they are, in fact, in a relationship, when the truth is, they are probably very miserable.

An example of this: my cousin, his now ex-wife, and I used to hang out all the time—we would go to shows, dinner, family functions, parties, and more, with me simply third-wheeling because I had a lot of man problems. On the outside looking in, however, these two were perfect. Fast forward four years later, and they are now divorced, and I learn that:

• He robbed her of over $18,000 in tax money for their son.
• He got her, their son, and her daughter evicted from their 1-bedroom apartment in Yonkers. Instead of paying the rent, he was spending it on other women, vacations to Atlantic City, etc. When the complex began the eviction process, he made sure to take the letters and show up to court without telling his wife. Once they were evicted, he let her catch him cheating, she put him out, and then finally, she received a note saying she had 45 days to vacate the premises. When she contacted the leasing office, she was told that he had gone to all the court hearings and knew they were being evicted. She then realized that was why he let her catch him cheating and nonchalantly left their home when she argued and told him to leave.
• He lied about where he was moving to and now owes five months’ back rent on his new apartment.
• He took the money she needed for her cancer treatments and saved it to buy himself a brand-new BMW with cash.

Yet, they were the “perfect couple.”

THE SINGLE TAX –
Some people refer to a higher tax burden on single individuals as a “single tax.” While this is not an official tax, it is perceived as a higher tax rate due to fewer deductions, credits, or benefits compared to married people or heads of households. In countries like the United States, tax systems often favor married couples by allowing them to file jointly, which can lower the overall tax burden compared to single filers. This creates what some may call a “singles penalty,” as single individuals, particularly those without dependents, may feel they pay disproportionately higher taxes due to fewer tax credits and benefits.

The longer women or even men endure this burden, the more prone they are to depression or anxiety disorders. For many Americans, the burden of shouldering these costs means having to get an extra job or participate in gig work—both of which can be taxing on the mind. There are plenty of men and women who work multiple jobs, stating that one job is for their bills and another is for leisure. Surely it is not normal to live this way, but slowly it’s becoming more practical as inflation and the cost of living continue to rise.

BOREDOM –
Women who have been single for too long may experience boredom, but it’s not always a bad thing. Bored means peace—No Peter, No Pecker, No Prob (aka no problems)! Who doesn’t want a drama-free life that is romanticized by evening walks and days at the harbor, overlooking the glistening water and watching the sunset?

The only downside to this is that the longer you remain at peace, the less likely you are to give chances to an ex or new partner. They more than likely will not be able to return to your life, as your tolerance for lying and low effort will be almost non-existent. So, is there a downside to being single too long? No. We should consider ourselves blessed.

by Harley Miller & Danielle Wright