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Sep 176 min read

How to Transition Your Wardrobe from Summer to Fall

by Danielle Wright & Samara Morris-Harris

 

We see many articles talk about the importance of transitioning from summer to fall when it comes to our wardrobe, but very seldom do we include bedroom attire in the conversation.


Sure, for many women, we are, after all, decentering men, but what about the women in relationships or those who remain hopeful that their one true love still exists? Women in relationships—once the honeymoon phase is over—will sometimes, more often than not, find themselves taking less pride in their appearance and becoming more focused on survival and emotional intimacy.


Men, however, are still hardwired to remain consistent throughout; they want some booty, and they want it from the woman who attracted them in the first place. Is this reasonable, especially if you’ve recently given birth or incorporated certain medications into your life where a side effect can be weight gain?


No, duh! But outside of that, yes, you should take your partner’s feelings into consideration when making this transition because they want to be attracted to you throughout the duration of your relationship and vice versa. When we think of bedroom rules for couples, one of the first things that come to mind is: keep things spicy!


HOW TO KEEP THE BEDROOM SPICY

Intimacy and Men’s Relationship Coach, Brian Harris, says, “Men seek more than just physical connection in the bedroom—they crave a space where they can feel both respected and desired. It’s about a balance of vulnerability and confidence that ignites true intimacy.” Many men are raised with traditional notions of masculinity, where qualities like dominance, stoicism, and strength are valued above empathy, emotional expression, or vulnerability. When these ideals are challenged, it can cause insecurity and defensiveness.


After watching season six of 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days, I noticed a couple where, after a few episodes, it was clear she was not in love with her partner. One of the telltale signs was her wearing socks in bed when he wanted to cuddle and hoped they would become intimate. During his confessional, he mentioned how awful he felt because the woman he loved was not showing any signs of vulnerability.


Sure enough, by the end of the season, they had called it quits. Women’s instincts are real, but men have instincts too. Their instincts are not necessarily to tell when a woman is being unfaithful but to guard their ego from rejection. Rejection in the bedroom for men is less about a woman’s feelings and more about their ego.


Unfortunately, men often derive validation from external sources such as work, relationships, and physical strength. When these sources falter or don’t offer affirmation, it can leave the male ego feeling exposed or unvalidated. In this case, showing up to bed in lingerie or making the first move shows your partner that it’s okay for him to be vulnerable and provides a safe space for both of you to thrive.


In the colder months, it’s important not to switch out too much of your wardrobe for oversized sweaters and pants. You can be fashionable while still dressing appropriately for the changing weather. Below are some of my favorite fall looks from celebs who I am almost certain aren’t letting themselves go in the bedroom. Behind closed doors, it’s important for them to keep things cute and sexy.


Mariah Carey blends outerwear with a nice tennis skirt, tights, and boots, while Victoria Beckham takes it a bit further with a longer skirt and turtleneck sweater, accompanied by boots. As for Khloe, her ensemble is laid-back but still chic. She accessorizes with glasses, heels, and a bag, with her hair nicely done and nails on point.


Keeping your hair and nails done are subtle habits that can help keep your appearance up to par without having to break out the 6-inch heels and Cartier bracelets. Even if you’re a sneaker girly, coordinating a nice pair of sneakers with this look will also work well and keep your man on his toes. Plus, you’ll be able to keep up with him better if you guys are outdoors running errands, which men love.


At home, opt for a silk robe and nightgown instead of those plush ones. While many people are flocking to their Versace robes, they’ve become a bit tacky now. Ladies shouldn’t wear those at home, especially when a man is present. Plus, think of the money you’ll save!


SINGLE V. BOO’D UP

If you’re single, it’s important to practice keeping your wardrobe sexy, especially if you still believe in love and that your perfect partner is out there... somewhere. Doing this allows you to always maintain confidence, whether you’re inside or outside for a moment. The way you carry yourself when no one is looking speaks volumes about your character and how you expect others to treat you.


Women who keep lingerie in their drawers, along with sexy lace underwear and some silk nightgowns, are typically the women who have the most confidence and will attract many men. But she’s not attracting him because of what’s in her closet—he hasn’t made it that far into her life—she’s attracting him because this is a good indicator that her outfits to go outside are well put together, she looks groomed, and she exudes a certain aura. This will reflect in her walk, talk, and posture.


A good example of what not to wear in the Fall can be seen below:

Sidenote: this young lady is absolutely gorgeous!

This is not hate towards her, but if you’re single and transitioning your wardrobe from Summer to Fall in hopes of attracting a man, this look will not cut it. Her hair is thrown into a ponytail, her nails are not done, and she is wearing light makeup, which will turn some heads, but her outfit is not styled. The men who will approach her will likely seek to waste her time and perceive her as someone who likes to people please. He may ask her on a date, but will likely pull that reliable excuse from his back pocket: “Hey, so sorry, I forgot my wallet at home, and I’m already in the Uber.”

 

On the other hand, a girl dressed like Rihanna in this photo will attract the opposite, even though the concept of the fit is the same. So, what’s different? She has a handbag, her nails are done, her clothes are styled—accessories, glasses—and her hair looks fantastic! She gives "relaxed, but not lazy." She gives style and class—she’s covered up. Overall, this Fall look is a 10/10 if you want to go the comfortable, baggy clothes route while still being able to potentially attract the love of your life.

 

For ladies with boyfriends, below is a great example of a date night inspiration look for the Fall. Hate her or love her, Kendall Jenner is easily one of the best-dressed celebs today. A nice boot with a minimal heel, a trench coat, turtleneck, and slacks—simple yet effective. Notice she is not over-accessorizing because the look is so chic that it speaks for itself. The intention is “bad bish,” and whoever you’re with on the date will feel that feminine energy oozing off of you. Add a nice perfume, and you’re good to go, babes.

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