by Danielle Wright
“F*** Me Badly Once, Shame on You. F*** Me Badly Twice, Shame on Me.”– Samantha, SATC
What is it about that three-letter word that seems to have everyone up in arms? When it comes to being sexual – whether man or woman – it means having consenting, pleasurable, and safe sexual experiences. It’s all up to you to have sex in a way that reduces the chances of getting an STI or having an unplanned pregnancy. Sex itself can be defined in many different ways, some people believe that it only counts if there is penetration and that is simply not true. There is vaginal sex, oral sex, anal sex, fingering or hand jobs, dry humping, and masturbation to name a few.
During vaginal sex, there are several positions one can try with their partner, one of which is riding on top or these different variations. The most important thing for you, the woman is to feel comfortable. Adding something as simple as some personal lubricant will help make things smoother.
YAB YUM: Think of the lotus position, but a bit more intimate. Have the penetrating partner sit cross-legged on the bed (or couch) and the receiver straddles their partner’s lap facing towards them, legs strapped around their partner’s lower back. During this position, you can have intense eye contact and it does not require you to be on top for a long period.
COWGIRL: In this position, you’re kneeling and straddling your partner, facing them. This position is one of my favorites. It is the best position if you intend on riding for a long time. You can add support by holding onto your partner’s legs, shoulders, or chest for balance. How far forward or back you lean will change the angle and the different spots you might hit to reach that clit orgasm.
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THE GREAT BEE: While this position is similar to a cowgirl, there is a slight difference. Here the penetrating partner is laying on their back and the receiving partner is riding them – the partner on top pulls their legs up towards their chest as if they’re doing a deep squat. In this case, the woman can ride longer without getting tired since she can lean in for support from her partner. The penetrating partner can try making circles, going back and forth, or tilting from side to side.
THE CHAIR: When it comes to oral sex the same can be said, sometimes we get tired, especially if you’re a woman who does not orgasm from penetration alone. Hey me! Anyway, this position is great but can be somewhat tiring, we understand, but as the receiver, your job here is to enjoy the moment and feel sexy.
Similar to this is the LAP DANCE – grab a steady, armless chair, and move it closer to a bare wall for support. From here you can perform up and down on your partner whose legs should be together and knees against the wall. This will help you both to maintain your balance.
Overall, the best way to ride a man longer without getting tired is to have stamina. Stamina is defined as the ability to sustain a prolonged physical or mental effort. Here are some ways you can improve your stamina to not only have a better sex experience in these positions but to have longer-lasting sex in any position.
GO FOR LONG WALKS: You and your partner can incorporate long walks each day, even if for one hour. Walk your pets or just take a moment to take in the cool/summer night air. I am a huge fan of long walks, especially in the summer. It does wonders for my mood and my performance in bed.
ADD RUNNING INTERVALS: If you don’t feel like walking is enough, try tossing in a few running intervals throughout your walk. Interval training is proven to be one of the best methods for improving your overall fitness, at least in a timely, efficient sense. Typically, having a dog along for this is ideal, you can both get a good workout in and your pet will be nice and sleepy once they return home.
TRY CYCLING: Couples who cycle together, stay together. This is no doubt a fun and interesting way to not only stay fit but also increase your endurance. Before you know it, you’ll be asking to get on top and take things home for both you and your partner while you’re at it. Riding a bike in any fashion can improve your stamina even if you’re cycling indoors.
HAVE DANCE PARTIES: This is one of my personal favorites. Sometimes I like to crank up the music and start moving my hips – mainly while cleaning. Think of Zumba, at home. Dancing is a phenomenal mode of exercise that will leave your lungs and muscles burning, plus it’s fun!
Dancing may also require you to assume new positions and challenge your range of motion, which can improve your overall fitness. This can in turn translate into the bedroom! Show bae your new moves while riding him slowly or speeding up, either way with your new increased stamina you don’t have to worry about getting tired anytime soon!
Happy Sexing!