by Danielle Wright
Before we dive into this topic, it’s important to note that using manipulative tactics to make someone feel bad is not a healthy or productive way to handle a situation.
It's important to prioritize communication, honesty, and respect in any relationship or situation, even if it has ended on a bad note.
That being said, if you’ve been hurt by a guy over text and want to express your emotions in a constructive way, here are some tips on how to make him understand the impact of his actions and possibly regret his behavior.
TAKE SOME TIME TO PROCESS YOUR EMOTIONS
Before responding to the text, take some time to process your emotions and reflect on what you want to say. It’s easy to lash out in the heat of the moment and say things you may later regret. Take a few deep breaths, calm down, and collect your thoughts.
COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS
Once you’ve had some time to reflect on your emotions, it’s time to communicate how you feel. Be honest and direct about the impact his behavior had on you. Instead of attacking him or blaming him for everything, use “I” statements to express how you feel. For example, “I felt really hurt when you said…” or “I was disappointed when you didn’t show up.”
Before sending the text, make sure to write it all out in your notes. This will help ensure that your thoughts are clear and uninterrupted. Additionally, you can reread the text to check for any grammatical errors and ensure that your message is concise. Although your guy may not always read the entire message, it's important to put your thoughts down. After writing it out, you may decide not to send the message at all.
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SET BOUNDARIES
If you’ve been hurt by someone’s actions, it’s important to set boundaries to protect yourself from future hurt. Be clear about what behaviors you won’t tolerate and what your expectations are. For example, “I won’t tolerate being ignored or disrespected over text” or “I expect you to communicate with me in a respectful manner.”
Radiating feminine energy involves establishing and upholding boundaries. If you desire your partner to discontinue specific behavioral patterns, the first step is to ignore him. Men are often uneasy with silence.
DON’T ENGAGE IN A TEXTING WAR
It can be tempting to engage in a texting war, especially if the other person is being defensive or dismissive. However, this will only escalate the situation and lead to more hurt feelings. Instead, focus on expressing your feelings and setting boundaries. If the other person is not willing to listen or respect your boundaries, it may be time to cut off communication.
I cannot tell you how many times my abandonment issues have been triggered when a man ignored or dismissed me. At one point, I thought I was a narcissist lashing out for attention, but no. When a man shuts down and uses the silent treatment against you or is defensive at best, it's either to win an argument or, at worst, abuse. If you find yourself engaging in a texting war, try to go within and ask yourself why it's so important for you to be understood.
Do you fear being alone?
Do you have unhealed past trauma wounds?
Are you a people pleaser?
Often, these issues have more to do with us than our partner.
FOCUS ON SELF-CARE
When someone hurts us, it’s natural to feel a range of emotions, including anger, sadness, and disappointment. It’s important to prioritize self-care during this time to help you process your emotions and heal. This could involve activities such as exercise, meditation, therapy, or spending time with supportive friends and family.
Moreover, when you feel sad or have obsessive thoughts about your partner, the best thing to do is to focus on making money. Pursuing your passions can help you avoid ruminating on past events. One platform I recommend for earning money is FeetFinder. You can set up your profile and start earning within 24 hours while remaining anonymous.
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LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCE
While it’s never easy to be hurt by someone, it’s important to take the opportunity to learn from the experience. Ask yourself what you can take away from the situation and how you can grow from it. For example, you may realize that you need to set clearer boundaries in your relationships, or that you need to work on communicating your emotions in a more effective way.
In summary, making someone feel bad for hurting you over text is not a productive or healthy way to handle the situation. However, it is important to prioritize your emotions and communicate your feelings in a constructive way. By setting boundaries, focusing on self-care, and learning from the experience, you can move forward from the situation in a positive and empowering way.