by Lisa K. Stephenson
Photo by Dellon Thomas from Pexels
Every now and again we ponder,
“Did I mess things up?”
“Was he just not that interested in me?”
“Was I being too needy, and it pushed him away?”
Whether you’re wondering how to keep an alpha man interested or what an alpha male is like in bed, down to what type of woman is an alpha male interested in? We are here to ease your worries by answering all of your questions. What is an alpha male? Most alpha males are dominant, desirable and more successful than other men.
Here’s a list to help you better identify an alpha:
Highly intelligent
Natural leader
Super successful
Always sure to stay ahead in life
Not affected by criticisms
Fast decision-makers – see Positive Masculine Energy
Usually unemotional
Magnetic personality
Does not allow others to interfere in his life
Fearless
Goal-driven
Okay, we know, some of these traits can be considered toxic, but in our article on What is Masculine Energy we do further break this down to help put things into perspective.
Now that you know what traits an alpha man possesses, the burning question is, well, how do you keep a man like this interested? At first glance, he seems a bit intimidating, but this is exactly what he does not want, someone who treats him as though he is intimidating. You should have some mystery to you, but not too much.
If you appear disinterested, he will move on. Men like this have no desire to play games. They are usually pretty straightforward because like we said they are fast decision-makers – this can be anything from which stock to buy to a woman to date on a Friday night. The best thing you can do is have a life. If you are busy chasing your own dreams and goals you will spend less time wondering if he is interested or not.
Next, don’t be clingy or needy. I do not like when women are referred to like this because the truth is we can all become needy when met with someone we are smitten by. Do not take it personally. Our advice, give what you are getting. Alpha male or not, if he is interested, he is going to show you. Otherwise, if he is distant, then you, too should be distant. This is not game playing because you are only giving what you are getting.
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Having confidence is something that is spoken time and time again. Confidence cannot be fake; it has to be something you possess and do not need his validation. Asking him, “How do I look in this dress?” Or saying, “Sorry I am taking so long to get ready. I want to wear something I know you’re going to like.” Is in essence asking for his validation. Instead, when you are going out, say something along the lines of, “I look damn good in this dress. I can’t wait for you to see it.”
In bed, you may find that he is dominant. Telling rather than asking for a position switch all while remaining calm and reasonable about his approach. Your alpha male may not be a talker in the bedroom since he is rarely talkative outside of it. He knows his words’ worth. The benefit of this and him being a man of few words means that you shouldn’t have to wonder what he thinks.
He is confident and has no qualms about being vulnerable with the right person. So if you’re with an alpha male the guessing games are out. But there is a con because on the contrary, his words can hurt you because he doesn’t care how you feel. It doesn’t mean he is rude or selfish, but in general, he does not care what others think about his words.
Related articles: Stages of Getting Back Together with an Ex
We all need space sometimes and this does not only pertain to fights or drama – which your alpha male will heavily avoid. He may teach you to how to approach him and better understand him without such fuss, it is up to you to apply these tactics. But don’t be afraid to push back if his demands are unreasonable or his actions do not match his words. Alphas are programmed to avoid drama and if you’re an alpha yourself, you understand. In essence, you want peace but not at the expense of your dignity. If he is not treating you well and you must voice your displeasure, do so unapologetically and walk away.
Getting used to your new relationship with an alpha male can be a whirlwind of a romance. A perfect example of one is Aleksandr Petrovsky from Sex and the City. What makes him an alpha? He is gentle and kind yet forceful and attentive. He is not argumentative but assertive and does not miss an opportunity to grow but remains tranquil during conversations while getting his point across no matter how heavily he disagrees.
When an alpha likes you, you will know. He will ask you on a date, compliment you, share intimate details about himself, remain interested and non-judgmental. Alphas have a strong personality so if you’re going to survive one, gloves on!