by Danielle Wright
Welcome back to another one of my hard-ass articles, where nothing is sugar-coated. For those who emailed my supervisor inquiring about whether I have a podcast, I do not (but I appreciate your interest). I am just a happy content writer here at She's SINGLE. However, you can support our YouTube channel, where every week, one of my articles is translated for you to listen to if you are not in the mood to read. Now, let's get started.
Let’s face it, relationships are hard. When two people get together so many things can go right, and wrong. Sometimes you’ll agree on things, other times it can feel like an uphill battle as you try to get your partner to see your point of view. But the most important thing is to be able to communicate and compromise effectively.
FOR THE RELATIONSHIP GIRLIES:
If your partner is ignoring you this is not a good sign as this could be stonewalling. Stonewalling is refusing to communicate with another person and withdrawing from the conversation to create distance between the individual and their partner. If you live with your partner and a small disagreement has taken place and now you’re being ignored, then you have to consider asking yourself a few questions:
Why am I here?
What are my non-negotiables?
Am I being emotionally abused?
Is this someone I want to spend the rest of my life with?
The reality is, you want to think of relationships as being something that is going to bring you infinite happiness and once the well runs dry, it’s time to leave. Women should learn how to practice being selfish because the truth is, men are just that. They value themselves far more than women do and always see themselves as the prize in any relationship.
Men are not afraid to leave women—even if she is his wife and has a newborn child. If it means his happiness is at stake and it is logical for him to move on without ramifications, he will do so. You need to adopt this way of thinking. I know it’s hard because as women we do not want to hurt the people we love.
However, ignoring you and your feelings is hurtful to you and a person doing that to you cannot possibly love you. All in all, how can you love someone who does not love and value you in return? The answer is, you can’t. The best way to get his attention when you’re in a relationship and he’s ignoring you is to leave—quickly and quietly. Do not fuss.
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EXPIRATION DATES IN RELATIONSHIPS:
We’ve all done it, stayed in relationships past their expiration date, some of us have even married beyond that point. One of the main reasons women do this is because of low self-esteem, perhaps you did not spend enough time with yourself as a single and growing individual. Maybe you’re Jennifer Lopez and absolutely must have a partner at all times in your life, either way if you’re going from one toxic relationship to the next or stay in one until you have no choice but to leave, then you need to do some inner work.
Men will not respect a woman who does not know her worth. In other words, if he feels you’ll never leave then he has all the power and can treat you however he sees fit. Some women will make excuses for a man's poor behavior, but I get it, love is hard to shake when the rose-colored glasses seem almost super glued to your face. But eventually, the glasses will fall and you’ll see the relationship for what it truly is.
You can then look back and pinpoint all of the times the signs were there for you to leave. Prevention is always better than cure, you can avoid heartbreak by exiting at the slightest inconvenience. I am not saying to not talk things through, but it takes two people to have a relationship, two people to argue, and two people to resolve conflict. Both parties have to be ready and willing to fight for the relationship to work. If you make attempts and you’re being ignored then that person has given up and there is no need to feel bad for leaving and moving on.
FOR THE SITUATIONSHIP GIRLIES:
Without the title of a relationship, you do not stand a chance and cannot do anything when a man ignores you except to move on. Men want relationships. They crave it because, contrary to popular belief, while men may have many options, it's expensive to entertain everyone and maintain a full roster of women before most of those women wake up and block him from their lives completely. Lisa, my mentor and the editor-in-chief for She’s SINGLE always talks about being the ungettable girl.
The ungettable girl holds the most value in a man's eyes because she keeps him on his toes and does not submit to the pursuit. She is busy, in demand, and confident. There is no such thing as being too old or unattractive to have value. Once you are a woman with standards, you are a prize. Men want the ungettable girl because it will be a challenge to pin her down, which means she is not only a challenge for him but for other men as well. There is no reason to be intimidated by men; they are all still little boys who like to compete and talk about cars and girls.
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So, how do you use this to your advantage? Because men are competitive by nature, give him a run for his money—not in a diabolical way, but in a feminine way. If all men wanted was sex, they would have no problem paying a sex worker $150 for a night of fun which is equivalent to a date night.
If you could get that Moncler shirt for $50 instead of $350 wouldn’t you take it? Sure you would. Men are no different, if he can get a woman to satisfy his needs for $0, he is going to take it, but it won’t stop him from working hard to afford a true woman of value. In his eyes, the harder she makes him work, the harder she makes any man work which means he can lose her at any time.
I noticed something and I want you to all consider this…I’ve done some digging and cannot seem to find any evidence where these celebrity wives publicly did anything extravagant for their husbands, yet, they are happily married and there haven’t been any rumors of cheating.
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West (pre-divorce)
Savannah and LeBron James
Steph and Ayesha Curry
LaTanya Richardson Jackson and Samuel L. Jackson
Coco Austin and Ice T
Kimberly Woodruff and Ice Cube
Pauletta and Denzel Washington
I can name more, but no public displays of affection such as with Ari Fletcher buying Moneybagg Yo land, and yet, each week she tweets about being single. The aforementioned women are wives who sit in their feminine energy and do not overcompensate for men.
Lastly, Khloe Kardashian threw Tristian Thompson a birthday party and that night he impregnated another woman. The moral of the story ladies is your presence is a present and the right man will appreciate it. When he ignores you, leave.