by Haleigh Couture
Surely it is only human of us to care. But for some, caring too deeply feels as though emotions have become a burden. Those who are highly empathetic often resist jumping into romantic relationships, this is because the relationship can frequently resonate feelings of anxiety. Empaths need their solitude, even in a romantic relationship.
Judith Orloff, a psychiatrist said, “As an empath, I use many strategies to protect my sensitivities, such as fierce time management, setting limits and boundaries with people who are draining.” She said empaths are people with very distinct needs. In every relationship, it takes effective communication to articulate one’s needs.
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An empath’s partner will need to be a good listener and respect boundaries to sustain a meaningful relationship. These hyper-sensitive people are more attuned to other people’s emotions as if these emotions are their own, empaths can absorb what others feel. These feelings may manifest to heightened and toxic levels, causing the empath to almost lose themselves completely—legitimate fear of losing themselves to others.
The fear is real because falling in love with someone is consuming. So, maintaining a healthy amount of intimacy for an empath and their partner can become an obstacle. Promoting strong communication is paramount for intimate relationships with an empath. Unhealthy manifestations of negative behavior can greatly taint the relationship. The empath will relive this toxic relationship over and over. Rendering them what they can sometimes feel to be deemed as unlovable—though this is entirely not the narrative in which these types of individuals must live.
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Relationships can be healthy for an empath if feelings are properly expressed and understood by both partners. Empaths thrive when they can feel accepted and safe to have their personal space respected. They often seek peace and stability from nature itself. This means taking the time to step away from their stressors, even their loved ones.
Their partners will need to be understanding and assert support. Every relationship is certainly unique, and for empaths, this means redefining what love looks like for them. While some couples may appear overly affectionate, love for an empath may look a bit different. Falling in love requires vulnerability, but even more so for empaths. They have huge hearts that often weigh too heavy.
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Empaths should seek partners that understand their sensitivities, not how to abuse them. This means steering clear of narcissists especially. Narcissists are not particularly healthy for anyone, but empaths are singularly vulnerable to these people.
An empath will need to take the relationship slowly and at ease. This also means that they can tell when things are feeling a bit off. One should never lie to their partner regardless, but empaths can easily tell when someone is holding something back. So again, making sure that the communication and honesty are present, and respecting boundaries.
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If your partner can’t do these things regardless of being an empath or not, then they’re not for you. Being truthful to yourself and knowing your boundaries is the best way to ensure to your partner that you are ready for commitment. Let’s be real, there’s nothing sexier than feeling comfortable being your true authentic self than with the person you are in love with.
So, if you're an empath and perhaps a bit hesitant to tell your crush you want to take things to the next level, the best way to do so is to be honest. Everything that you feel is valid. You will find that love that consumes you, but trust that it will be the healthy, open, and honest kind of love. The kind of love that doesn't drown you in emotions. A love that allows for you to feel everything in the best ways possible.
Resources:
Orloff, Judith. “10 Traits Empathic People Share.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 16 Feb. 2016, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-freedom/201602/10-traits-empathic-people-share.