by Danielle Wright & Lisa K. Stephenson, Relationship Coach & Author
A man of means is a regular at cigar lounges, country clubs, industry events, and the list goes on. But one-time appearances in those places are not enough to attract and keep a man for the long haul; remember, his options are endless. You want to think big and plan your summer vacations where the wealthy mingle: The Hamptons, NY. Keep reading to learn more…
Hypergamy is the action of marrying or forming a sexual relationship with a person of a superior sociological or educational background. Dating today is a challenge for many reasons, one of which is finances. Most men are now looking for women with whom they can have sex, receive emotional support, without solely carrying the financial burden of being a provider in the home.
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The idea of marrying ‘up’ came from an epiphany many women had from websites that seek to educate women on marrying for security versus love, such as shessinglemag.com, cosmopolitan.com, and YouTube channels such as SheraSeven and more.
THE SHIFT:
For starters, after thorough research and interviewing over 150 married men, She’s SINGLE learned that 93% of them do not actually like the women they married, with most citing reasons like, “I married without loving my partner because I was still in love with someone else,” and others saying, “I married someone out of convenience.” Among these married men, only 7% were the sole financial providers of their households, making their spouse either a stay-at-home wife or mother.
Another gentleman chimed in—he wasn't part of the study but overheard and wanted to share his experience. He told us that he recently became single after ending a 5-year relationship with his now ex-girlfriend. Out of curiosity, I asked him why he didn't marry her, and he simply replied, “I couldn’t stand that b****.”
To the women reading this article, please take a moment to realize that the gentlemen above were honest with us—strangers—while lying to their partners about their true feelings. So, if your man is less likely to genuinely like you even after marriage, why not consider marrying a man of means? Lifestyle over love.
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As the burden of being the sole provider in households becomes more prevalent in 2023, more men are defending their choice not to be the 100% provider for women. This decision stems from various reasons: lack of interest, absence of love, imbalanced give and take, or simply because they find it not worth the effort.
In any case, this shift in mindset is prompting men to alter their approach to dating, while women are aiming for higher standards in choosing their intimate partners, spouses, and fathers of their children. This change is leading to a significant divide between the sexes. More men are seeking women who are financially stable, reliable, feminine, high-maintenance, emotionally mature, single, charming, attractive, and, of course, sexually experienced but with a limited number of previous partners.
Conversely, women are in search of men who possess emotional intelligence, financial stability, charm, romantic inclinations, good communication skills, and strong moral and traditional values. These preferences largely align with the respective masculine and feminine energies, excluding the request for women to be financially stable. Such a demand places women in a precarious position, as achieving financial stability often comes at the expense of something else. Unfortunately, questioning this trade-off tends to call into question her womanhood.
A recent projection estimates that by 2030, around 45% of women will be single and childless. This projection offers women more time to invest in their careers, become homeowners, and travel without concerns. Consequently, if men are seeking financially stable women, they will need to target those between the ages of 30-44.
However, many men may be reluctant to do so as the average man desires to have children. A woman's prime reproductive years are typically between her late teens and late 20s, and fertility starts to decline around age 30. If women are not prudent in their choices, we might witness an upsurge in young pregnancies with fewer marriages among young women, while witnessing an increase in marriages with older women. But what about women's perspectives?
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HOW TO ATTRACT WHAT YOU WANT:
Financially stable women should avoid dating below their financial standards. Consequently, the type of men described earlier is unlikely to find favor with such women, as they tend to have lower financial resources and may already have fatherly responsibilities by the time they are ready to settle down. Women are evolving, a trend that is quite commendable. Hypergamy, seeking partners of higher socioeconomic status, is now more prevalent than ever among women. This shift is fueled by the fact that women have more time to build their own businesses or advance in their corporate careers. As a result, they are less inclined to consider men who are not on par with them financially.
However, there is a downside to this development. The number of women who possess these financial capabilities often outnumbers the men who meet such quality standards. Moreover, according to Lisa K. Stephenson, "These men may not prioritize a woman's finances, but she should have the financial means to access them. While social media provides us with rapid information dissemination, it lacks efficiency.
You can endlessly scroll through TikTok and listen to self-proclaimed relationship experts who advise you on finding and dating specific types of men. However, these types of men rarely share what they seek in a woman. Attraction must originate from the man. Irrespective of financial status, women do not pursue men; rather, they attract them."
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION:
"A man of means frequents cigar lounges, country clubs, industry events, and more. However, a single appearance in such places won't suffice to attract and retain such a man for the long term. Remember, his options are vast. It's essential to think on a grand scale and plan your summer vacations strategically, targeting locations where the wealthy gather, such as The Hamptons, NY. The Hamptons isn't merely an activity for New York's rich and famous; it embodies a lifestyle."
When you arrive, ensure you reside in an elegant home with a water view, presenting yourself in a way that doesn't trigger a cultural contrast. You should aim to blend in seamlessly. This is the opportunity to display your minimalist wardrobe and stylish accessories. Additionally, be cautious about your company; avoid going alone. Your choice of friends reflects on you. Take your time selecting the women you wish to accompany you—those who contribute to presenting your best self. Lastly, leave lace fronts and lengthy lashes behind.
Your three-month sojourn in The Hamptons, NY is your mission, and it should be approached with dedication. Dine at upscale restaurants, engage in light conversation with the staff, be generous with tipping, and establish eye contact with your target while there. The rest...
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UNGETTABLE:
You're now in the location, adorned in your amazing wardrobe, your face radiates subtle elegance, and your hair dances in the wind, creating a doll-like allure. Now, you wait. Allow the men to approach you, resisting your urges. The one who lingers the longest is the one worth entertaining, as he possesses both wealth and time—perhaps a trust fund beneficiary; regardless, it's a favorable prospect.
Attracting a man isn't inherently difficult, but retaining him demands effort. The more time you spend outside your comfort zone, away from your hometown, engaging in travel, education, and cultivating cultural awareness, while diligently enhancing your feminine energy, the smoother it becomes to maintain a relationship. Your place of origin is immaterial; what counts is your destination.
Once you've secured an entry point, your task is to secure your position. Achieving the man you desire and the life you merit transcends the realm of YouTube videos or TikToks. It necessitates determination and unwavering commitment to your aspirations. Maintain your focus, and even more crucially, be genuine while striving to become the best version of yourself. Bear in mind that you attract externally what you project internally.