by Lisa K. Stephenson
Hypergamy anyone? Hypergamy is the act of marrying or forming a sexual relationship with a person of a superior sociological or educational background. I am a firm believer of this because unfortunately, I can’t help but feel a bit pessimistic when it comes to dating—yep, I rather cry in the Maybach vs. the Honda. But what does it mean if you’re interested in dating someone who is wealthy and you’re well, poor?
Seeing someone that’s wealthy when you’re not financially stable isn’t exactly problem-free and there are a lot of things you need to think about before entering a relationship like this.
One way of looking at it is your goal should not be to compete with this person financially, but to be of value. You can ask your partner to invest in you and from there you can develop an idea, foundation, brand, etc. that can therefore catapult you to financial stability.
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I recently started watching The Real Housewives of Dubai and fell in love with a cast member, Lesa Milan. We’re both Jamaican and she is a successful entrepreneur. She is the perfect example of the aforementioned; marrying a man of a different socio-economical status and having him invest in her idea to produce a maternity brand. The brand now earns over 7 figures in revenue. So don’t count yourself out because you are “poor”, the goal is to find your footing and ask for help from your partner.
In The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Erika Jayne is no different—although she is in some legal trouble now. Her ex-husband Tom Girardi invested in her dreams of becoming an entertainer. He also splashed his wealth in building their extravagant lifestyle earning her a spot on The Real Housewives where she allegedly earns up to $650,000 per season.
If you’re going to date a rich man do not do it for the lifestyle, do it because you see this as an opportunity to build something larger for yourself. Men who marry poor women may seek to control you and emotionally abuse you if you have no value other than sex. You want to show him that you have ideas and that with his financial assistance you can be an asset to the relationship.
TikToker and entrepreneur, Roatansfinest is an advocate for dating rich men. She’s sustained much backlash from males for her preference, but she does not care. She is a firm believer that men should take care of women and women should not be ashamed of dating/wanting a rich man. I love her channel and am happy I came across it when doing some research for this article.
A man’s job is to provide and create a safe environment for his woman.
“I believe that when a woman feels loved, safe, and appreciated she will thrive. That means good sex, good food, and pure happiness. I feel like a lot of men, especially today’s generation doesn’t understand how to create a safe space for a woman to thrive in her feminine energy. It’s a lot of expectations without building the foundation.” – Lisa K. Stephenson, Author and Relationship Coach.
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But finding a man who has taken the time to create a foundation – house, wealth and safety is not a crime. It can feel intimidating at first, but that is to a woman who does not feel she is deserving of such a lifestyle. Dating a rich man can be nice—you might get spoiled; you might dress head to toe in designers and might attend all the best events.
This is nothing to be ashamed of. As long as you’re willing to add value to the relationship and your partner trusts you to do so, we say, find that rich man, be happy and live life to the fullest. Some people maybe jealous of you, and others may call you a gold digger, but do not get discouraged.
You do not owe anyone an explanation of your life choices. Nor do you owe your partner for choosing you and splurging on you. That is their choice and you are simply a willing recipient. If your partner is always paying for everything or if they constantly treat you, you might feel that you owe them all the time. This can feel uncomfortable. Don’t get into that space of feeling inadequate. Men admire confidence—rich or poor.
So how do you meet a rich man? If you’re not well off it can be hard to find rich men in your social circles, so you need to surround yourself with others that are wealthy. Some popular places you can try are:
Charity Events
Tech Conferences
Airport Lounges
Country Club
Golf Courses
Polo Matches
Exclusive Gyms
Art Galleries
Hotel Bars
Coffee Shops
Tennis Court/Racquet Clubs
Open Houses
Book Stores
Some men do like to fake it until they make it and so you may run into someone who is not rich but is pretending to be. How do you spot this? Most wealthy men are not just putting their wealth on public display. So, if he’s constantly talking about money, he’s either new money, irresponsible with his money, or a fraud.
Rich men don’t check price tags before ordering things and they will casually talk about vacation homes or lavish past experiences like everyone has the same lifestyle since they will be out of touch with the reality of the broke.
Rich or poor, all men want the same things in a woman: loving, feminine, kind, faithful, respectful, supportive and communicative. So again, why give this to someone who is poor that will stress you out and probably cheat on you? Save your energy for someone who can give you experiences and finance your dreams.