by Danielle Wright
A Hinge user recently shared her experience on the dating app after deciding to re-download it in an attempt to find a suitable partner. After matching with a gentleman and exchanging numbers, she initiated texting by asking if he’d be willing to take her on a date. His response was, “Why do females be so pressed to go on a date? It’s like an epidemic. You wanna feel white.”
Related articles: Dating Someone With a Kid
Related articles: How to Date An Introvert
It’s safe to say this particular gentleman believes that dates are reserved for white women, or for certain people in general. But why and how did we reach this point? Forums created as safe spaces for Black women discuss why some Black men seem disinterested in courting them, often observing that these men use Black women as stepping stones or placeholders until they achieve their desired goals and then move on to their "preference."
One woman states, “They try to find those with low self-esteem and no boundaries so they can take advantage—tricking them into sharing resources so they can save their own money and get what they want.” It’s no surprise that some Black men have garnered a reputation for being indecisive about relationships, unresourceful, selfish, and unreliable in various areas.
Related articles: Is Dating a Man With a Child Worth it?
Related articles: Psychological Effects of Online Dating
When women bring these discussions to social media platforms or even forums here on She’s SINGLE, there are Black men who quickly respond in the comments, demanding that women clarify they’re only talking about “some” and not “all.” However, must we also consider adding “unintelligent” to the list, given that the majority are not considered quality partners, which supports the general observation? A quality man isn’t just a "nice guy"; he’s someone who accepts his role as such.
Men who go out of their way to intentionally gaslight women into believing they are good men are almost always doing so because they are aware of the bare minimum and abusive treatment their counterparts frequently inflict upon women. However, instead of speaking out against their counterparts and condemning their behavior, they disguise themselves as honorable human beings who deserve to be placed on a pedestal.
Related articles: Is It Adultery to Date While Separated?
Related articles: Disadvantages of Dating a Broke Man
Not every broad statement someone makes has to directly apply to your unique situation, yet there are men who believe this to be untrue. They aggressively hound women in their comments to change their stance or revoke their statements altogether. The Black man's ego will be his greatest downfall as he maneuvers through life believing that, despite producing the least, he should be rewarded the most or be treated equally to his peers.