by Danielle Wright
A relationship between two people, whether platonic, familial, or romantic, relies on the contribution of all parties involved.
If one person is giving more than the other—a codependent giver—they are likely to experience burnout, resentment, and even neurological disorders. Toxic relationships can negatively impact both your mental and physical health. Many of us overcompensate in relationships and then become irritated when the person we’ve done so much for does nothing to reciprocate the effort. But we are only responsible for ourselves and our actions.
“When I do anything for anyone, I don’t expect anything in return. My blessings will come from God, not man,” says Lisa K. Stephenson, author of The Snows of Khione. “Keeping my expectations of people low or even nonexistent has led me to a happier, more peaceful life. Less disappointment.” When you begin to wonder if your toxic relationship can become healthy, it’s time to examine what made the relationship toxic in the first place, as this will determine if things can be salvaged.
Related articles: How to Stop Being Codependent With a Narcissist
Related articles: Signs You're in a Codependent Relationship
First, we have to look at masculine versus feminine energy in 2024 because things are indeed different now than they were fifty years ago. Women are now high-income earners who travel, live alone, date themselves, and are no longer fighting to be chosen. Many men are independent and can cook, clean, and take care of themselves without a woman.
So, the question becomes, why do we want a partner? Is it a void we are looking to fill? Companionship? When you learn the reason why you want to be in a union with someone or why you want to get along with someone, it will help you determine the best course of action to mend that relationship or bond. Once you have made the conscious decision to enter into a relationship, you must establish boundaries. Most toxic relationships lack direction, interest, and boundaries.
Related articles: Toxic Codependency
Related articles: What Causes Codependency?
What this means is that while you do have your independence and are capable of certain things, you understand that your partner is there to fill those gaps and take over. As a woman, just because you’ve bought a home, car, and have a high-paying job does not give you the right to emasculate your partner and berate them whenever they do not get the oil changed on time or fix the garage door because that’s your demand for the week.
Men, just because you have a partner now does not give you the right to use weaponized incompetence as a means to no longer cook and clean up after yourself. A healthy romantic relationship is when two people who are independent of one another come together to practice interdependence respectfully.
Related articles: How Toxic Relationships Affect Your Mental Health
Related articles: Signs of a Woman With Trust Issues
Masculine men like problems and challenges, whereas little boys prefer to have their mom handle things for them. Women who take on the mommy role in their relationships will always face challenges with their partner. Additionally, saying yes to everything and suppressing feelings are signs of insecurity and inadequacy in women. Masculine men are turned off by masculine women and yes-women.