top of page
Writer's pictureShe's SINGLE Magazine
Feb 155 min read

Are Long Distance Relationships Harder for Guys?

by Danielle Wright

After spending some time on social media and diving down the rabbit hole on this topic, three things were made clear: (1) We’re doing relationships wrong. (2) Men and women do not view relationships the same way. (3) Too many women suffer from having low self-esteem.

We’re going to discuss each of these matters in depth, as always, and hopefully by the time you’re done reading this article, you’ll be far better equipped to handle romantic partnerships.


WHY DO WOMEN GET INTO LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS?

Long-distance relationships are relationships where two parties who share a romantic and intimate connection are geographically separated from one another. This could have been intentional—getting into a relationship with someone who lives far away from you—or accidental. Accidental means starting your relationship with someone who was in close proximity, but due to a change in their circumstances, they had to move away or you had to move. Either way, you and your person are no longer in close proximity.


Women are single until married. That is the simple and only concept you should understand and live by. When you are dating, the goal is to get married, buy a home, and start a family. If that is not your goal, then why are you dating? Men were placed on this earth to procreate—this is why it is harder for men to be monogamous. Most men do not have a problem sleeping with multiple women but only having one wife and mother to his kids.


Women, on the other hand, are who set the standard. You know that childbirth can come with complications and being a mother changes your life forever, so you need to make sure that you’re getting something out of the deal. He wants to continue his legacy and you want security.


Unless you are married, there is absolutely no reason that you should ever be in a long-distance relationship with anyone. Long-distance relationships are not just hard on guys, but women too, and if you’re a woman who is not struggling in her long-distance relationship, then it’s safe to say that you are more in love with your partner than they are with you—that is a bad combination. The man should always love the woman more, and it's because he loves you more than making you his wife should be a priority.


Take, for example, models Nara Smith and Lucky Blue Smith. Their love story began with a DM. Once she replied, and it was known they would be in the same city for work, he asked her on a date. From there, after a few short months of dating, he asked for her hand in marriage. So, while Nara is typically home with their 2—soon to be 3—children and Lucky travels for work, this is acceptable because she is his wife.


Women who allow themselves to enter into long-distance relationships with men who are not their husbands may have issues with self-esteem. Maybe you feel like he’s the best you can do…

Related articles: How Long Does a Crush Last?


SIGNS OF IMMATURITY IN WOMEN – HAVING LOW SELF-ESTEEM

There is a link between immature defenses and unstable self-esteem. Studies have shown that mature defenses may serve to stabilize the state of self-esteem, making someone with higher self-esteem more certain and decisive. Interestingly enough, the idea of a long-distance relationship will not be harder for guys because a man who is in a relationship with a woman who is okay with him being far away from her has already devalued her. He will therefore never find fault with his actions, even if they are deplorable, because he believes himself to be the prize.


You’re only a girlfriend, and you’re willing to be loyal to someone who cannot take you out weekly, financially support you, and is not committed to you. Let me reiterate, you’re only a girlfriend, and you’ve accepted the bare minimum.


In his mind, you are not the prize, he is. Long-distance is not hard for him; it will only be hard for you, and he knows this. For the man, his goal now becomes to find a woman who is better than you—more mature with higher self-esteem who would not dare be loyal to a person who cannot do anything for her because they are miles away. Men respect women with standards and boundaries. When you allow yourself to be subjected to such ridicule, there is nothing to respect. When a man does not respect you, he will not feel guilty for hurting you.


MEN AND WOMEN DO NOT VIEW RELATIONSHIPS THE SAME

A young woman did a storytime via TikTok where she told listeners about her recent Valentine’s Day debacle. She says that she and her now ex-boyfriend were in a long-distance relationship because they both go to different colleges. For the weekend, they both made plans for her to travel to him so they could spend the holiday together. When she arrived, she noticed that while he was in the other room with his friends watching The Superbowl, his laptop kept dinging—out of curiosity, she decides to check the messages.


First, she opened his messages where she typed the word 'babe' in the search bar, which produced 4 results of women he was emotionally cheating on her with. She then typed the word 'love' in the search bar, which returned more results from these same women. One of the women he was newly entertaining, having only just started speaking to her 3 days prior, the same day our storyteller was confirming their Valentine’s Day plans. Needless to say, she confronted him, he walked behind her as she exited the building to jump back into a cab to go to the airport.


She realized the airport was closed and slept there from 12 am to 4 am when it opened, waited on her 4 pm flight, and then returned home. She says, within that 18-hour time frame, not once did he check up on her, beg her not to leave, or show any kind of remorse. All in all, this is a perfect example of a man not respecting you and the relationship you share enough to feel guilty about hurting you. He did not care because as a girlfriend, never should you agree to a long-distance relationship.

bottom of page