by Danielle Wright
The term immature is defined as an individual who is not fully grown or developed, deficient in maturity, lacking wisdom, insight, and emotional stability. For the sake of this article, I am going to focus on the latter. I think it’s safe to say that if you’re actively dating then you’ve experienced an immature man once or maybe twice. But what are they like and why should they immediately give you the ick?
The purpose of a man is to protect and provide while adding value to the life of their significant other. Women, for the most part, do not chase men, we attract them. If a man is attracted to you and interested in having you in his life then he should be of some benefit to you.
A mature man is wise enough to know that having a plan and a wife makes him more valuable in society. Did you ever wonder why most White men are quick to marry young versus men of other races? We can then look at which group of men are usually in positions of power over other groups of men. Having a wife in many cultures is a symbol of respect and honor.
Most immature men are not walking in their purpose. A man spends a very big chunk of his time and resources searching for the meaning of life. He may meet some women along the way who will wonder why he is only interested in a situationship or behaves immaturely. Well, he’s still on the quest to find himself. Men like this are not a problem once you have the education needed to spot them. If you can weed them out early then you can spare yourself the inevitable trauma and heartbreak.
HERE ARE THE 7 SIGNS TO LOOK FOR:
01. ATTACK, ATTACK, ATTACK.
Immature men look for ways to turn simple conversations into arguments because winning an argument with you is better than having to face the reality that he is probably failing at life. When an immature man is losing an argument, instead of healthily challenging your points or conceding when they are at fault, they would rather attack you personally.
This happened to me recently, I was having another tiresome discussion with an immature friend of mine. He volunteered information to prove my argument right on men not liking or showing interest in women who sleep with them early or cook for them. Men rather a challenge and will—more often than not—date women who show to have higher standards or appear so. He did exactly this and when I pointed it out, he resorted to insulting me. Immediately the conversation was over, he in turn became the victim. Which brings me to the next sign…
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02. LACK OF ACCOUNTABILITY.
Men who do not like to apologize are emotionally abusive. If he has to stoop low enough to insult you versus taking accountability that is a sure sign that he is a piece of shit and you need to get out of dodge. Immature guys rather throw blame at everything and everyone before ever pointing the finger at themselves.
As previously mentioned, most immature men lack purpose. Sometimes this can lead to blaming their family for not supporting them enough or hitting them when they were six and he’s now thirty-two with PTSD. Or blaming the government for not providing enough aid and resources for him to get a higher-paying job and a home in a better neighborhood. All in all, everyone else is the problem, it’s never him.
03. NO FUTURE.
Failure to plan means you fear what the future may hold. When you are stagnant and unfulfilled, you’re not looking forward to tomorrow or the next month. Fear can keep you stuck and immature men know this feeling all too well. When a man lacks ambition the thought of tomorrow paralyzes him. He dreads the idea of having to fail for yet another day, versus seeing it as an opportunity to change his current situation.
04. STUBBORN.
Immature men do not like change or compromise, he believes himself to be the smartest one in the room and has no desire to change. To put things into perspective, if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it. Many immature men don’t see themselves as failures, instead, they see the people around them as targets for their scrutiny and judgment.
05. FINANCIALLY IRRESPONSIBLE.
Ever met a man who kept asking you for money or always seemed to have financial issues and he’s way past the age of 21? Immature men almost always have financial issues because they do not behave responsibly. He’s comfortable asking you for money and setting you back because they do not pay attention to the effect their actions have on other people.
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06. SELFISHNESS.
Immature men cannot be providers because they have a woe-is-me mentality—however, things don’t happen to us; they happen for us. When a man is immature his sole focus is on how to use the people around him to live the life he envisions for himself by doing and sacrificing as little as possible. It does not matter who it is, it can be his sister, mother, wife, or girlfriend. If they’re accessible, they can be used.
07. HOSTILE.
This is different from verbally abusing someone for disagreeing with them, in this case, some immature men are downright physically abusive. They do not know how to verbally express themselves so they resort to violence when they feel threatened. Mature men are skilled at deescalating situations because they have a lot to lose. When people are easily triggered, belligerent, and downright animalistic, they have nothing of value that they’ve worked for. They don’t know the value of hard work otherwise their actions and decision-making would reflect that.
Overall, there’s nothing remotely appealing about an immature man. They’re most likely broke, too. So do yourself a favor and look the opposite way. No good can come from loving someone like this.