What is a Healthy Relationship Like?
"I feel like once you know someone's there for you, and once you know they love you, you never actually think of them again. It's not until you're about to lose someone that you finally pay attention."
Everyone fears the "relationship rut," but I love settling into a relationship, and I'll tell you why.
There's nothing to fear when you settle into a relationship—the best moments often come from these spaces. When my ex and I moved in together, it was a rollercoaster. We had different schedules and routines, but I cherished cooking dinner together and unwinding with a movie at the end of the day. I loved lazy Saturdays when we stayed in bed talking before putting away laundry and going for a walk in the afternoon.
These small moments are what define relationships. It’s not the grand dates or romantic gestures but the everyday acts of partnership and connection. Relationships thrive in these quiet, shared experiences, where you learn more about your partner than you ever could by focusing solely on excitement. When you learn to appreciate these moments, you’ll find yourself happier and more fulfilled.
Life is stressful, and we’re all doing our best to navigate it. If you’re fortunate enough to have a significant other by your side, appreciating their efforts and the life you’re building together can ease much of that stress. One common issue in settled relationships is the feeling of being taken for granted—when one partner feels they’re carrying more of the burden.
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Ladies, it’s crucial to have conversations early on about sharing responsibilities, whether it’s household chores or parenting. If you both work, then grocery shopping, cleaning, and other tasks should be a shared effort. Find joy in doing these things together. Clean the house to your favorite music. Pause in the grocery store to feel grateful that you can provide for yourself and the person you love.
Finding pleasure in the mundane is no small feat, but it’s transformative once you do. Relationships aren’t always exciting, but they can be an adventure. Learning about your partner is a never-ending journey. People are always evolving, and there’s nothing more rewarding than discovering new facets of the person you care for the most.
Settling into a relationship can feel scary because it means becoming content, and some days may feel repetitive. But life doesn’t have to be exciting to be fulfilling. In fact, settling in often signifies that you’ve found someone you don’t want to live without. And while it’s natural to fear that you might be missing out on something better, if you’re genuinely happy—not lovesick but truly content—and you see a future with your partner, then rest assured: you’re not missing out.
If your partner supports your growth and dreams and there’s no one else you want by your side, you’re not “settling”—you’re embarking on the most trying yet rewarding adventure of your life. For many of us, it’s easy to take our partners for granted and lose sight of why we chose them in the first place. You’re not alone in this. But if you feel comfortable, supported, and fulfilled, take a deep breath and embrace it. You’ve found something worth settling into.
by Kaila Coleman
