Signs He Will Never Change

Last week I completed an article, “A Man Will Change for the Woman He Wants: True or False” where I discussed a man changing for the right woman. This concern comes up a lot when speaking to women about relationships. Many women have come to believe that if they work harder at keeping a man happy, he will stay longer, and in some cases, marry her. This is far from the truth. I was happy to debunk those rumors and provide the science behind my theory.

Today, I decided to take things a step further for the girlies who are in relationships and are wondering where they stand. In almost every single case where you’re in a relationship or dating, you must remember one important fact, you should be liked just for existing. If you find yourself in a position where you’re asking your man to change or asking for better treatment and in some cases, a proposal, then it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.

LET’S FIRST DISCUSS VALUE.

A woman is valuable because she serves as a social status for men. Men understand your value as a woman, so if he stops putting the work in, it's safe to say that he has grown tired of you and no longer sees your value. As men climb the corporate ladder, do you notice what happens?

They end up dating and marrying women who match their aesthetic. In other words, a woman who is chic, sophisticated, feminine, and kind—a woman who in their eyes will elevate their status in the world. The more beautiful and put together she is, the better he is viewed by his peers…and respected.

This is why you must stop believing that you need to help a man and that the more you do for him, the more he will love and care for you. Men are all about status and obtaining it no matter what. A famous YouTuber by the name of SheraSeven speaks about women known as the ‘pickmeisha’.

What is a pickmeisha? A pickmeisha is a woman who considers herself a ‘ride or die’. She is not for the girls and will build and fund a man in hopes of buying his affection. Men who are in survival mode will always go for this kind of woman because she is easy to manipulate, comes with low self-esteem, is low maintenance, and has almost no boundaries.

Most men gravitate towards these kinds of women in hopes of getting their needs met while simultaneously building themselves for the women they want—the high-maintenance woman. Please do not be fooled, men are not looking to stay with women who were around for their struggle because that woman will always be a reminder of said struggle. As he grows in his career and wealth, he will want to be with someone who is a representation of where he is present day.

NOTICING THE CHANGES.

More times than not, a man is only as faithful as his options. If you and your boyfriend are both working at a Fast Food restaurant and he goes off to college, while you remain there, guess what? He will likely cheat on you with someone who attends the same school as him. His status has elevated and so should his companion.

A man does not change for the woman he wants, he changes towards the woman he does not want. It’s 2023, all men know the importance of romance, dating, and courting a woman. If he is not romantic then it is because you are no longer the woman he wants to be with…he is ready to move on.

When men change in relationships it is not your job to bring them back on track. Your job as a woman is to notice the signs, perhaps (if you want to) mention it once, and then allow him the space to change and be consistent, if he does not, then you leave.

• You do not quarrel with men.
• You do not lower your standards for men.
• You do not compromise on your value for men.
• You do not get into competition with men.
• You leave.

If you take nothing else from this article, remember one very important thing: love does not change. A man who loved you in the beginning, will love you in the middle and will love you until the very end. Men like that will not have you questioning their actions. Take, for instance, most divorces are initiated by women according to statistics.

So, if men are not leaving relationships it’s safe to say they like being in them, they like having companionship, and do fear dying alone. Well, if the above is true then why would you believe he is still in love with you when he is not putting in the work to keep you happy if, as a man he does not want to die alone? Did you know that post-divorce a man is ten times more likely to get remarried than a woman?

Here it is, if he wanted to, he would. Once you notice any of the signs below, it’s not time to ask him to change, it’s time to leave and allow him to move on to someone else.

“Well Diamond, why doesn’t he just leave me if he’s not happy?” Good question, I’m glad you asked. Men hate confrontation and most know that the average woman is emotionally unpredictable. So, allowing you to leave the relationship gives him an out without the guilt. Hence why he will start to change or cheat so you have no choice but to leave. Sure, he may fake an apology or attempt to come back once he’s done playing the field, but by then you’ll probably have moved on.

KEY: Men do not change for the woman they want, they change towards the women they are no longer interested in…

HE’S IMPATIENT – If you bring something to his attention and he sucks his teeth or shuts down the conversation, it’s safe to say that he’s checked out emotionally.

NO COMPROMISE – It’s my way or no way. Men want to make their woman happy so he will go out of his way to make sure she is smiling because of him. If and when a man is no longer interested in seeing you happy, he is ready to call it quits. Romantic relationships are conditional—men know this. So, he should make sure you’re both happy in your relationship.

BLAME SHIFTING – “I don’t do this anymore because you stopped doing that…” Yes, this is very common and a tactic used to get the woman to overcompensate in the relationship as he gives his love and affection to someone else. Unlike women, men cannot cheat well. They are not designed to spread themselves thin emotionally and financially. So, if he’s no longer opening up to you or spending money on you, he is likely putting that energy elsewhere. Again to alleviate his guilt, he will resort to blaming you.

CROSSING YOUR BOUNDARIES – Do you remember in the beginning how meticulous he was about your boundaries? If you asked him to come over by 8 pm, he was there by 7:59 pm. Well, now he’s arriving at 11 pm and shrugs his shoulders when you ask him to stop or worse…to change. He minimizes this behavior to have you believe you’re crazy, controlling, or mothering him in some way. Run, don’t walk. His message to you is loud and clear, it’s over.

LAZY APOLOGIES – Yes, if he notices you’re not leaving him and you’re still willing to have sex with him despite his low effort, he will muster up an apology for his behavior. But please know that it will not be sincere and it's only to buy him time. The apologies will not be followed up with changed behavior for this very reason.

UNRELIABLE – Breaking his promises or canceling on you last minute are sure signs of his disinterest. He is not going to change. He is doing this on purpose because he knows there are no consequences and if you choose to leave, he will find relief. It’s a tough pill to swallow but you’ll get over it and find happiness elsewhere soon enough. The first step is knowing your worth and your value outside of a man.

When a woman stops arguing, she’s done...you are no longer worth the fight by Diamond Brown