Signs He Is Not Single

The other day, a Tribe Member shared a story with us about an experience she had with a potential mate on Instagram. She said that after some time, she noticed he would frequently post things in his close friends, and although they’d never met, she found it interesting that he had added her there.

If you’re not familiar with close friends on Instagram, it’s essentially stories for a select group of people—those you specifically choose to see what you post for those 24 hours. With that being said, she noticed that now and again he would post cryptic messages in response to her posts.

For example, she would post about having a long day at work, and he would reply to his story with something like, “Tell me about it” or something similar. After a while of noticing this, she removed everyone from her close friends, keeping only him so she could respond. Before she knew it, they were engaging in full conversations via Instagram’s close friends. Weird, right?

We have another scenario shared with us where a woman noticed that there was a particular guy on her social media who would constantly comment or interact with her photos by sending them to her. In other words, he would never publicly leave a comment but would share the image to her DM and compliment her there, in private. Needless to say, both of these men turned out to be in committed relationships, as after some time, they eventually posted their partners while still hoping to continue these shady behaviors.

Sometimes, the signs that a man is not single are blatantly in front of us, and other times, it’s a mystery that requires some due diligence on our part as women. Things like dating apps and social media have become nothing but a playground for non-committal men or serial cheaters. Most men view dating apps as a way to find women with low self-esteem who will be easy to bed, lead on, or in some cases, take advantage of.

A perfect example of this is a young lady sharing with us that she met a guy on Hinge, and after talking for a while, he asked her on a date to the movies. She obliged and mentioned that she arrived a bit earlier than he did, and as she waited for him to arrive, he asked her to purchase their tickets. Major red flag here, but I’ll break this down later in the article. Once she purchased the tickets, he informed her that he would be getting their snacks, even going so far as to ask her what she wanted, to which she replied, “A small popcorn would be nice, thank you.”

He agreed. She went into the theater to wait for him, and as she was waiting, he entered with a large popcorn and soda—nothing for her. At first, she didn’t think anything of it, believing that maybe he wanted them to share, which she thought was kind of romantic—yup, you read that right. As the movie went on, she realized he had no intention of sharing, as he made it almost impossible for her to access the bag. Eventually, she stopped trying.

Once the film ended, he suggested they go for a walk, and she agreed against her better judgment. During the walk, she recalls feeling very uncomfortable because he wasn’t speaking or making any conversation, though he assured her he was interested, so the walk continued. After about fifteen to twenty minutes, at night, she realized they had arrived at a bus stop. He then turned to her and said, “Thanks for walking me. I had a great time with you tonight!” I’ll cut the story here because I’m honestly disappointed that she didn’t go ahead and commit some unspeakable or heinous crime towards this man, lol.

“The reason dudes lie to women is because it’s better when you like us. In other words, if we tell the truth about how we feel about you—whether it’s that we don’t find you attractive or we just want to have sex—you’re less likely to go out of your way for us or do things we want you to do,” a TikTok user said. The average man wants an audience, not a conversation or commitment, unless he’s considered the pros and cons and finds it to be in his best interest.

Men are naturally selfish and will never inconvenience or deprive themselves of the things they believe they deserve, and sometimes that means women and sex. If a man is seeking pleasure outside his relationship and using resources like dating apps, it’s because he believes he’s entitled to something he’s not receiving at home. This is why, on average, when men cheat on their wives, they find ways to blame her and convince her that she was the problem or had a role to play in his infidelity. Women are conditioned to believe that having a man in their life is the ultimate prize—she is respected when she’s a wife and mother but disregarded and looked down upon when she chooses to be single with no children.

Men often assume her singledom is by force and not by choice because, let’s face it, who wouldn’t want a man? Hmph. Men cannot hide their disinterest; they can only lure in women they believe are conventionally unattractive and convince her she’s his type. Women who are conventionally unattractive or have low self-esteem are almost always the target for these situations, but younger women, typically between the ages of 18-26, are more likely to fall into the low self-esteem category rather than being physically unattractive.

This means she can still experience being played and getting her heart broken. She’s impressionable, not ugly. When a man decides what category you’re in, he will treat you accordingly. Women on dating apps are already placed in the “lower bin,” so you’re never going to get the best a man has to offer, ever, when you’re meeting on a dating app. Sorry not sorry, but you need to get off of those.

SIGNS HE IS NOT SINGLE: