How to Text a Guy Without Sounding Desperate?
There comes a point in every woman's life when she incoherently falls madly, head-over-heels for a guy. Whether it’s someone we’ve already been in a relationship with (we call him The Guy We Should Not Text) or someone we fantasize about being with, the inevitable question pops up: “Should I text him first? And if I do, how do I send the text without sounding desperate?”
As a heads-up, knowing how to text a guy might take some practice, but it’s worth it in the end. Most of them hightail it at the slightest hint of neediness or desperation. Simply put, guys don’t want to be with someone who threatens their sense of freedom or comes across as a crazed stalker. Even if that’s not who you are, appearing clingy can give the wrong impression and drive him away. That’s why it’s essential to master the art of texting.
HOW TO SEND A TEXT WITHOUT SOUNDING DESPERATE
One of the first texts I sent after my ex-boyfriend and I broke up was a lie. Yup, you heard that right—I lied my butt off. Of course, before sending that text, I waited the prescribed time you should before reaching out again—precisely 40 days.
When we broke up, I was living in a small rural town in Illinois, and he was in Washington, D.C. I knew getting back together would be tough, but once I decided I wanted to reach out, I sent him a text: “I’m going to be in the city for the weekend in a couple of weeks if you want to get together.”
Of course, I had no plans to fly to Virginia anytime soon, but I wanted to see if he’d take the bait. He did. We went out to dinner, had some drinks, and that marked the start of a series of “catch-up” dates.
Let’s be real: Even if you have a history with a guy, sending a text can feel like a near-death experience. How do you mask your enthusiasm and not come across as desperate? It’s tricky, but there’s a method to the madness.
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK - Think about what you want to say before you send the text. There are only so many times you can ask “How are you?” without sounding needy or boring. Matthew Hussey, a texting expert from YouTube, shares three secrets to keep him interested. Still, if your mom is like mine, you’ve probably heard this gem: “If you have nothing to say, don’t say anything.”
Chances are, if you genuinely have nothing exciting, funny, or urgent to say, what’s the point? If it’s not worth sharing, don’t send it. This will help you avoid coming across as hysterical, weird, or desperate. Trust me—Just. Don’t. Do. It.
CHECK THE TIME - Timing matters, especially if you’re texting a new guy or an ex. Messages sent after 10:30 PM tend to hold bad energy. If I send an important message late at night, it’s usually for a hookup (which isn’t ideal if you’re aiming for a meaningful relationship), or I lie awake stressing about whether he saw it. Either way, late-night texts don’t lead to a good night’s sleep.
To ease the hysteria, wait until mid-afternoon the next day to send your text. You’ll come across as calm, cool, and collected.
USE SOCIAL MEDIA TO YOUR ADVANTAGE - This one’s a bit cliché, but hear me out: If you have him on Snapchat or Instagram, post a few fun and confident selfies to your story. Trust me—nothing piques a guy’s interest like seeing you having a good time and feeling yourself. Confidence is magnetic. To a guy, it’s like giving candy to a child—they love it and always want more.
MASTERING THE ART OF TEXTING
Knowing how to text a guy and initiate the conversation is something more women should embrace. It might feel like rocket science at times, but if you keep the conversation light, charming, and minimal, you’ll be just fine.
by Kayla McCullough
