How to Ride On Top

Congratulations! You’ve decided to stop being lazy and start making dick-riding (literally speaking!) your man great again! (I promise this isn’t a political post—I just like to use the slogan in a raunchy fashion from time to time, lol.)

In a previous article, I talked about how many heterosexual men sometimes have gay fantasies because the women they love either refuse to suck their dick, won’t ride it, or, if they do, they either hate doing it or just aren’t good at it. So, I’m going to assume your presence here means that your man has either complained that he’s not being fucked right, or you’re getting ahead of things and learning the ins and outs now to avoid pushback later.

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Eh, listen, I get it—we’re sisters here at SSM, so nothing is off-limits. Dick riding is an art. It’s that moment between you and your partner where you’re in control—you’re on top, he’s vulnerable, and he has to let you lead. Sometimes men will be okay with this, and other times, maybe not. By this, I mean he may grab your hips and start thrusting your body up and down on his penis to recreate that feeling of him thrusting into you, even though it’s the opposite.

Here, let me explain…
During sex, whether it’s missionary or doggy style, your man is thrusting into you, which creates physical stimulation. How men experience pleasure is different from women. Penile stimulation occurs through friction between the penis and vaginal walls, which stimulates nerve endings, particularly in the glans (penis head) and shaft. The rhythmic motion increases sensitivity and pleasure.

Next, we have the pelvis and core engagement. The thrusting motion involves the pelvic muscles, core, and lower body, enhancing blood flow and heightening sensation. Mental and emotional factors are also at play, as arousal is influenced by psychological factors, including attraction, connection, and excitement, which amplify pleasure.

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When riding on top, these are all things you need to consider, especially if you have an overweight partner, a partner who frequents the gym, or a man who can last very long during sex. We sometimes wonder why many heterosexual—and even some homosexual—men experience back pain at an early age.

This could be tied to the pelvic and lower back strain they experience during sex. So if he’s always asking for a massage or needs to spend a little extra time in his recliner, let him. The best way to ensure that sex is pleasurable for both of you is to change positions often to engage different muscle groups, take breaks to adjust rhythm, and use proper lubrication.

Let’s say you have an overweight partner who cannot do much participating because he gets out of breath quickly during missionary and doggy style, so you're left to take charge. Understand that you will first need to lift his stomach to gain access to his penis before positioning yourself on top. Once you're there, consider placing one leg up at a 90-degree angle and the other on its knee to get a good balance. After this, start to stroke him back and forth. It can feel uncomfortable at first because your leg probably isn’t used to being at that angle, and there’s a large stomach flab in front of you making it hard to find your positioning, but I promise, once you have it, it’s smooth sailing after that.

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Riding an overweight partner can put a lot of stress on your body. Ideally, in these dynamics, you'll find a slim man with a heavier-set woman or a slim woman with a heavier-set man—someone has to have stamina. But don’t get caught up in just thrusting back and forth; talk dirty and try to make eye contact if you can.

Now, let’s say you have a partner who frequents the gym a lot. Don’t underestimate these men—while he may be visually appealing, he could be on steroids, which can either cause erectile dysfunction or mean he has a small penis. Small penis problems are major when you’re riding on top because the dick can slip in and out while you’re in motion, which can be frustrating. But it’s alright—we just need to pivot.

If he’s small and athletic, part your legs, get comfortable atop his hips—his hip bones may pinch, but ignore it—and then thrust back and forth, making sure your clitoris is being stimulated throughout. Place your hands on his chest or on the pillow or bed behind his head, arch your back, and then start pouncing on his dick. Go back and forth between these motions until he’s ready to climax. Most men will not let you get them to finish when you’re on top, so be prepared for him to toss you around and finish you off with a good old back-shot beating.

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And now, for Mr. One-Minute Man—they exist because they’re either porn addicts or just haven’t had sex in a long time. If it’s your first time being intimate, this may be the case, but after the third time, if he’s still not lasting, it’s safe to say he either has a poor diet, isn’t exercising, or is very stressed out—and probably doesn’t need to be having sex anyway. He might be better off sticking to his daily consumption of OnlyFans.

Men who don’t last at least fifteen minutes in bed could be suffering from an underlying health condition, and you getting on top probably won’t fix that. On the other hand, if he’s lasting too long—let’s say 45 minutes to an hour or more—he’s most likely on medication. You don’t want to engage with these types of men because you’ll dry up, and then friction will set in. No amount of pussy-licking, dry humping, or dick riding is going to fix that.

Related articles: Why Are Heterosexual Men Failing At Sex? 

But if you must, ride this man to the brink of his strength by staying on top, keeping eye contact, and clutching his hands in yours. Speed it up, slow it down—whichever feels good for you. He’ll either last long enough to bust his nut or shut down quickly enough that you can both call it a night.

The key here is speed, focus, intention, and motion (sliding back and forth, pounding, circling).

by Danielle Wright & Lisa K. Stephenson