How to Identify a Single Woman in Public Without Being Obvious

As Valentine’s Day approaches, a number of men and women are feeling the effects of the loneliness epidemic—but why? It seems that despite studies showing single women live longer, many still crave companionship and the feeling of being wanted and treated special. As mentioned in a previous article, the holiday is great until you share your video or photos and your partner stares at you, waiting to be repaid. This could be in the form of gifts, sex, or both.

Even if you’re not in the mood and may just want to cuddle, your partner may have other expectations. After conducting our own study group via our newsletter, it seems that during the holidays, women crave a relationship more than during non-holiday periods. So, what does that mean for men? If you’re a guy looking for a genuine relationship, the best time to pursue one is after the holiday season—post-Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day. Ladies, this article is no longer for you lol. Venture over to: Valentine’s Day Without a Plus One.

Related articles: How Men Can Maintain Friendships While in a Relationship 

The first week of March or the beginning of spring is when you should start your hunt for your next relationship. November, December, January, and February are the perfect months for single men to save, save, and save some more. You want to be able to treat your lady to fine dates during the spring and summer months and eventually transition into a monogamous relationship.

Anything prior to this will likely lead to a wallet war relationship or a woman only seeking to take advantage. Even though you barely know each other, the timing of when you’ve chosen to get to know her indicates that you have a budget to splurge—even if this is not the case. She is also going to feel far more entitled to you and your time—expecting matching pajamas, gifts, quality time with her and her children (if she has any), Valentine’s Day plans, etc.

A post on X said, “Men only have money the first month of dating—that’s recruitment budget. Never confuse it with operational budget.” Don’t let that be you. Four months is plenty of time to get your finances in order to successfully recruit and operate. Now that you have your finances together and you’re not letting your emotions get the best of you by recruiting during the holiday months, you can venture out into the world and start dating. But how do you identify a single woman in public without being obvious?

Single women in public are: (1) in a hurry, (2) not dressed up all the time, (3) not afraid to dine alone, and (4) often leaving or heading to the gym.

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IN A HURRY
Most single women in public have no desire to be dressed to the nines and are likely sprinting from one place to the next. She either does not want to be seen looking unkempt, or she genuinely has a lot to do and wants to complete her tasks quickly so she can return to the comfort of her home. When you see this type of woman, test the waters. Pay her a compliment if you see her at the grocery store or in line for coffee. If she smiles, offer to pay for her coffee and quickly ask for her number to avoid taking up too much of her time. Say something like:

"I see you're in a hurry, so I won’t take up too much more of your time. But I’d love to get your number so I can get to know you over a nice dinner one day this week." This works about 98% of the time.

NOT DRESSED UP
If you’re an average man who earns a good salary, lives in an affordable apartment or house, and leads a decent life, do not expect to shoot your shot at a girl draped in designer clothing. Even if it’s fake and she can’t afford the real thing, she will expect you to. Her financial expectations are high—not just for herself, but for her partner as well. There’s nothing wrong with this, but don’t aim if there’s a 75% failure rate. That’s more than half, and even if you make it to the talking stage, you won’t last long.

Related articles: The Hidden Cost of Dating Apps: Time, Money, and Emotional Investment 

Women who are not dressed up and instead wear comfy attire—or what I like to call the Chinese Ninja attire—aren’t seeking to be perceived as high maintenance. They are usually very confident women. They are not dressing for validation; they prioritize comfort over the male gaze, making them ideal partners.

To be sure of this, however, check her nails and rings. If her nails are done and she’s wearing stacked rings, it means she’s a bombshell under all that oversized clothing and will no doubt step out next to you when the time comes. Her attachment style is secure, so you don’t have to worry about her being too needy.

On the other hand, if she does not have her nails done, she is likely low maintenance and enjoys a good sweatsuit, but don’t expect her to have a strong fashion sense, even if a date is planned. She can also be receptive to a home-date suggestion. However, don’t confuse this with women who put in the effort to look nice but are not conventionally attractive—those are not the women you want to pitch a home date to, as they may feel offended. Additionally, if this low-maintenance woman lives at home with her parents or roommates, she is also a candidate for less romance. Know your audience, or else you will lose your chances.

Related articles: How to Set Bedroom Boundaries and Keep the Passion Alive

SOLO DATER
If you happen to be out with friends and see an attractive woman dining alone, she is most likely single and not actively looking. However, do not confuse not looking with disinterest in companionship altogether. This simply means she is likely not on a dating app and enjoys her own company but will be open to dating if the right suitor comes along. If you’re with your friends and she’s dining alone, you need to muster the courage to approach her.

"Hey there, is this seat taken?" She will likely respond with "No."

"Do you mind if I join you for a bit? I’m here with friends but couldn’t help but notice your beauty and didn’t want to miss the chance to come over and talk."

Here, you’ve established that your friends are not your priority and that you are both masculine and mature enough to leave them behind to approach her. She will be impressed by this. Do not be one of those men who prioritizes his friends over his woman—you will be seen as DL (down low) or feminine-leaning, incapable of leadership and monogamy. From here, keep the dialogue short by asking important questions about her relationship status and hobbies. But don’t overstay your welcome—she’s dining alone for a reason. Get her number and leave.

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GYM GIRLY
Women who have a routine at the gym are usually single. However, avoid gym influencers, and do not approach a woman the first time you see her at the gym. Once you’ve established that she’s a regular, keep an eye on her, but never approach her while she’s working out or before her workout, as that could be awkward. Instead, wait until she’s leaving, then either cut your workout short or time your activity to align with hers so that you’re leaving at the same time. Approach her calmly: "Hey, how are you? I notice you come here often. Are you from around here?"

She may respond with a yes or no, and that’s your opening. Keep the conversation light and fun, then ask for her number. Once you have it, try to set up a date as soon as possible. Since you both go to the same gym, prolonging things will only make her gym days stressful (I am a woman, trust me). You don’t want to keep her guessing or waiting to see if you two are compatible or not. If you are, you’ll have a new workout partner; if not, you can part ways like mature individuals and continue your workouts as normal. There you have it! Best of luck, and as spring approaches, let us know how things work out for you this year!

by Riley Cook & Kyla Cruz