How to Glow Up

Are you looking to have a "glow up"?

Well, you've come to the right place. This transformation is a significant change in a person’s appearance, confidence, and overall lifestyle. The end result is a more polished and attractive version of yourself. This transformation can be physical, spiritual, emotional, or all of the above, and it involves improvements in health, self-care, fashion, and personal development.

A glow up can happen over time or be a deliberate effort to enhance your self-esteem. When you decide to glow up, it’s one of those things that must be intentional and not done because you see others living a life you wish to emulate. Do you want to feel more confident, look your best, and be healthy? The operative word here is YOU. We can’t stress enough how important it is for you to do things because you want to and not because you see others doing it or believe it’s going to attract others to you.

For example, women are often taught that they have to be busy or not respond right away to a mans texts and emails to avoid looking desperate. This is not the solution, and I encourage women to unlearn this immediately. Whenever you do anything for the male gaze or support, it is always apparent because you will go out of your way to express your need for validation. When you feel like your man hasn’t complimented you, it’s because you’ve made changes to yourself—which you may not even be comfortable with—all for the sake of being noticed and accepted.

Rule number one for the glow up: confidence is king. Here’s what author Lisa K. Stephenson says on confidence, “I don’t know. I just always tell myself that if I want to look a certain way—I can. If I want to have a 30-inch middle part bust down with a flat stomach and a big butt, I can and I will when I feel like exerting the energy needed to achieve that. Until then, I’m going to do what I want.” Confidence requires you to do things on your time and when it feels good to and for you.

Spending your last dime to get lashes or nails only to impress strangers online is not confidence, it’s insecurity, and men will always see right through that. Plenty of times, we see beautiful women who are single or only left to be baby mothers instead of wives, and it has a lot to do with lacking confidence and knowledge. Their glow up is not for them, it’s for the people around them. So when the veil falls and they are no longer in a position to keep up appearances, the people around them see them at their lowest and then pity them.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
You don’t need to hit the gym five times a week to achieve a glow-up. Weight loss is more about your diet and less about your exercise habits. Exercising only expedites the weight loss journey but is not the sole cause of it. Focusing on your physical appearance for a glow-up is more than just a BBL; you need to open yourself up to the world of ingredients—what goes into your body and what goes on your body. Small changes can make big differences, whether it’s improving your skincare routine, making healthier food choices, or even ensuring you can get your wax removed regularly. But most importantly, you have to be willing to put the time in.

SLOW DOWN - MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL GROWTH
Aside from any medical conditions you may be experiencing—be sure to check with your doctor—with age comes patience. Increase your emotional regulation, which can lead to having greater patience. You are not beautiful on the outside if you’re the loudest person in the room, the most talkative, the most erratic, and the most argumentative. It does not matter how you flip it; no one respects a person who lacks patience and emotional maturity. As you shift your priorities, you’ll come to notice that you value peace.

PERSONAL STYLE
Developing a unique and flattering personal style that expresses your individuality and confidence is another key aspect of the glow up. It’s not uncommon to check apps like Pinterest for inspiration on how to dress or what to wear for a night out, but you have to take that inspiration and build on it. “When I was younger—around twenty-four or so—many people complimented me on my style. I wore a lot of exotic tights, cropped tops, miniskirts, heels, and blazers.

But most of my stuff came from thrifting. I started thrifting when I realized that while away at school and we all had to shop at the same mall, as a black girl on campus, we all looked alike. Same wet and wavy bundles, members-only jackets, ripped jeans, graphic tees, and track suits. I wanted to be different, and I knew that my glow up had to come from a place of invention,” Lisa says.

“So, I started checking out some thrift stores during breaks when I’d head back to the city. I would find the most unusual pieces, and they were far cheaper than going to the mall. It got to a point where a lot of my female friends would slowly start cutting me off. They hated that when we got around boys they liked, the boys would compliment me. But as part of my glow up—I was teased very badly in high school—I wanted to talk less and listen more. So, here I was, this girl with an hourglass shape, a nice style, and mysterious! Oh, believe me, I was taking it, honey!”

Your personal style can have a major impact if you dare to be different. Even if you want to wear a miniskirt like Cardi B or Ice Spice, add some flair to it. Maybe change your style and call it different eras. During the glow-up, you have to have something to look forward to. Perhaps for three months, you’re going to focus on your weight; in another three months, you’ll add to your wardrobe; and maybe after that, you’ll expand your reading.

“As an author, it’s really important for me to live vicariously through some of the characters in my books. Like, with Nova, she went through a period where she felt lost and insecure after her husband cheated on her. With Noel, she’s this late bloomer who gets thrust into city life with no real idea how to navigate love, and then she’s thrown into a love triangle with a rich, married man and a man from her childhood who had his own glow-up.

She didn’t like him when they were younger, but she likes him now. It’s all about trying to see myself in situations and creating a story of what I wished the outcome could have been. But more importantly, it’s about highlighting their mistakes and taking them through their problems versus going around them.”

OVERALL WELL-BEING - As uncommon as it is, women have to learn to be selfish. Selfish people live longer. Notice I didn’t say to be mean; I simply said to be selfish. Be selfish with your time and energy. Time is a non-renewable resource and is something we cannot get back. Don’t waste it on things that you cannot benefit from. If having a man in your life is not benefiting you, then it’s okay to let him go.

Your well-being is more than just a trip to the spa; it’s the way you make your life worth living and how you treat yourself. Many of us will say that celebrities are selfish, yet so many of them are living their best lives, carefree and unbothered. Why is that? When 85% of the population is either dying, starving, or cannot afford a place to live? Is it greed, or is it self-preservation?

The other day, many people wanted to boycott celebs after the ‘Let them Eat Cake’ debacle. It lasted about three weeks before everyone gave up and went right back to following celebs and keeping up with the Kardashians. My point is, selfishness is never demonized; it’s praised and it raises your value. The journey to your glow-up starts with you, so what are you waiting for?

by Danielle Wright