How to Support a Partner Through Mental Health Struggles: Part I

Are heterosexual men not evolving? It’s 2025, and women are taking charge—leading revolts and making their voices heard through action. According to The Spartan Shield, “Women now account for 50.7% of the college-educated labor force, having surpassed men as of 2023. According to a McKinsey & Company study, companies with female leaders demonstrate higher success rates in organization and financial performance.”

The disparity in college attendance and graduation rates between men and women is a complex issue influenced by various factors, including gender roles, economic incentives, employment trends, and engagement in K-12 education. Life is a game of monopoly: while the working class is taught to pursue education, graduate, and then enter the workforce, children from other socioeconomic classes are often taught alternative paths to success.

Many world leaders and successful entrepreneurs hold only a high school diploma and are still regarded as some of the smartest and hardest-working individuals alive. In the past, men were more likely to pursue well-paying jobs in industries such as construction, manufacturing, and skilled trades, which often do not require a college degree. Societal pressure also drives many men to enter the workforce earlier, allowing them to achieve milestones like homeownership or starting a family sooner than their peers who earn college degrees.

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However, this cultural pressure comes at a cost: the mishandling of men’s mental health. More than ever, men are seeking community, involvement, and validation for their emotions. Some have even resorted to imitating women in an attempt to garner attention they feel is inaccessible when they embody traditional masculine energy. But this evolution is not the one women envisioned. While it’s essential for women to see men as human beings with valid emotions, it’s equally important for men to understand the roles they play in society: to protect and provide.

Terms like these are now demonized because they’ve become synonymous with isolation, manipulation, and being taken advantage of by the women in men’s lives. Many men have begun speaking up, voicing frustrations with statements like, “Why do I feel like a human ATM?” or “Nobody buys me anything,” and “Why am I expected to do so much for so little in return?”—especially when discussing the expectations of courting and dating women.

This system, designed by men, was initially created with the intention of prioritizing the nuclear family as the cornerstone of American society. The goal was straightforward: meet your spouse, have children, contribute to the economy as part of the working class, retire, and pass on. Rinse and repeat. However, many are now awakening to this cycle and calling it out, as the wage gap continues to grow and economic inequality worsens over time.

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This growing disparity has led many men to shift their focus away from building families and instead prioritize personal survival. As the wealth gap widens, some men report feeling a loss of masculinity, driven by fear and an inflated sense of inadequacy. There is a growing sentiment among men that success is now synonymous with femininity. A woman can meet a man today and completely transform her life. For example, an OnlyFans model can post provocative content and earn more than a professional NBA player.

To some men, it appears that women have it "easy," as if life is like a Sunday morning when it comes to attaining and building wealth. Beyond that, women often retain their financial independence upon entering relationships, while men frequently shoulder financial responsibilities for both partners. Is it fair?

Fairness, however, is irrelevant in a system that was designed by men, for men, but now seems to no longer benefit all men equally. The nuclear family was intentionally created to give poor men a chance to establish a legacy and expand the working class. Today, as societal and economic dynamics evolve, it’s worth questioning whether this system is still serving its original purpose—or whether it has become outdated.

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We’ve also seen a shift in media—movies, television, and beyond—where women are increasingly encouraged to abandon celibacy and prioritize procreation, regardless of their circumstances. Meanwhile, most men find themselves unable to afford the financial burdens of a family. Women, on the other hand, often have the capacity and education to make a living, yet many pursue hypergamy . What happens when more women graduate from college than men, and those women primarily seek the small percentage of men who have attained significant wealth?

Classroom spaces that could have been occupied by future Fortune 500 male CEOs are now filled by young women who, upon graduation, may not even utilize their degrees. Instead, some hope to find a financially successful partner capable of supporting them and the children they plan to have. Meanwhile, men face rising mental health struggles as they find it increasingly difficult to secure jobs, support families, or fund their education—whether at a university or trade school.

This challenge is compounded by toxic masculinity and cultural norms that often pressure men to suppress emotions, avoid vulnerability, and "tough it out." These expectations can lead to unprocessed emotions and a heightened risk of mental health issues like depression and anxiety. This raises an important question: Are men not evolving as quickly as women? If so, why? The reality is that men in survival mode cannot evolve past their immediate struggles, as their focus is consumed by the limitations of their resources and circumstances.

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Furthermore, societal double standards exacerbate this issue. Men are criticized for attempting to monetize platforms like podcasts or OnlyFans, which women use to earn substantial incomes. Many men also face financial barriers to pursuing higher education or starting businesses due to a lack of grants and resources tailored to their needs. 

Undiagnosed mental health conditions in men can lead to severe consequences, including suicide, physical violence against partners, substance abuse, and more. To support a partner struggling with mental health issues, especially a man, it’s essential to encourage professional treatment. If the person refuses help, the best course of action is to prioritize your well-being and walk away.

by Stephanie E.